The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

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Hiring a professional photographer to take your vacation photos just seems wrong.
http://www.edmontonsun.com/2016/01/14/travellers-hiring-photographers-to-take-vacation-photos

 

You are wanted for vandalism, arson, and other crimes. Is the quality of your mugshot really your biggest issue?
http://globalnews.ca/news/2448551/ohio-fugitive-unimpressed-with-mugshot-sends-cops-better-selfie/

 

Police believe this may be the dumbest criminal of the year. They may be correct.
http://www.newser.com/story/218999/cops-kidnapper-could-be-dumbest-criminal-of-year.html?utm_source=cavemancircus.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_article

 

It’s hard for me to feel sorry for anyone who spends their entire life savings on lottery tickets when the odds of winning were one in 175 million. And, then, to ask strangers to help her get that money back just seems lame. 
http://www.vibe.com/2016/01/powerball-go-fund-me-page/

 

Would your jacket “hugging” you when someone “likes” one of your Facebook posts make you feel better about yourself?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/9594069/Facebook-vest-hugs-user-every-time-they-receive-a-like-on-social-networking-site.html

 

I found these satirical illustrations of the modern lifestyle via the Goodstuff blog. You are all following it, right?
http://www.leenks.com/link523162.html

 

In case you aren’t, please take a look. The latest issue features Britt Ekland, and much more.
http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.ca/2016/01/goodstuffs-blogging-magazine-224th-issue.html?m=1

 

Giving kids passing grades even though they don’t complete the assignment just sets them up for a reality check when they graduate and discover that very few employers will give them a free ride. Might as well find out the realities of life before they ruin it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/01/15/lynden-dorval_n_8991422.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-alberta&ir=Canada+Alberta

 

Last time I shared a story about turning men’s sperm off and on. This time it is about hot rodding them.
http://www.slate.com/articles/video/video/2016/01/spermbot_attached_to_sperm_and_delivers_it_quickly_to_an_egg_video.html

 

Penelope Cruz hotrods my sperm. I was reading one of those online rags that disses any woman who isn’t young, hot, and partially naked. The author was slamming Penelope, saying she was over the hill, and unattractive. Well, easy for you to say, dude, but you probably never had any more of a chance with her than I do.
http://coed.com/2016/01/16/penelope-cruz-hottest-photos-zoolander-vogue-interview/#!gallery-inline-embed-708392-708393-0

 

Bored? Stick a brick in an old washing machine, put the washer on a trampoline, and turn it on.

 

How many camels do you think you are worth? I was fairly surprised to find that I am currently worth 44 camels. Just for comparison, I plugged in a description of what I considered to be a desirable woman: thin, small boobs, blonde, green eyes. She was valued at 69 camels.
http://kamelrechner.de/en

 

Desert Island Disc #8

 

What the heck is the deal with all the musicians dying lately? The latest loss to the industry is Glen Frey.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/18/entertainment/glenn-frey-obit-feat/

 

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This road, and everything associated with it, seems like a very bad idea.
http://www.salon.com/2016/01/16/a_proposed_amazon_highway_threatens_to_undermine_perus_recent_preservation_efforts_partner/

 

The largest dinosaur fossil ever found is now on display at the American Museum of Natural History.
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/massive-titanosaur-biggest-dinosaur-ever-found-squeezes-into-museum-of-natural-history/

 

I just learned that a reindeer’s eyes change color from season to season.
http://we-are-star-stuff.tumblr.com/post/137362811794/nubbsgalore-reindeer-are-the-only-mammals-whose

 

Dogs don’t care if you are rich or poor.
http://www.everydaykiss.com/random/dogs-dont-care-if-youre-rich-or-poor-17-pics.html

 

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Goats act like the stoners of the animal world.tumblr_o11e6jsib91ukldkho1_400

 

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I wonder what this would sound like. The same as a regular speaker, better, or worse?tumblr_o0v1ylQZeO1r29uz6o1_1280

 

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This kid is just too cute.

 

Astronaut Scott Kelly announced on Twitter that the first flower that has been grown in space has blossomed. “Growing the Zinnia plants will help advance our knowledge of how plants flower in the [plant growth system named] Veggie, and will enable fruiting plants like tomatoes to be grown and eaten in space using Veggie as the in-orbit garden,” said Trent Smith, Veggie program manager at Kennedy. 
https://twitter.com/StationCDRKelly/status/688420603766767619

 

A guided tour of the inside of the International Space Station.

 

This dwarf galaxy passed ours millions of years ago, leaving ripples on the edges of the Milky Way.
http://tinyurl.com/z5ya32e

 

New photos of the 5 meter high “Namib” sand dune on Mars that the Curiosity rover is currently investigating.
mars-633707

 

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This year marks the 50th anniversary of the introduction of the Lamborghini Miura.
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/01/12/autos/lamborghini-miura/index.html?sr=twcnni011616lamborghini-miura0400AMStoryGalLink&linkId=20383049

 

The Trans Am Depot is creating modern versions of the classic muscle car. I like it.
http://www.supercarsautos.com/pontiac-trans-am-reborn-of-the-iconic-muscle-car/

 

The latest technology for keeping snowy roads clear.
http://blog.hemmings.com/index.php/2016/01/15/winter-not-on-the-new-york-state-thruway-thanks-to-the-viking-cives-tow-plow/

 

The world’s worst railroad track is in Ohio.

 

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I was never a real big fan of Kendall Jenner. I don’t consider her as supermodel quality, but I think she has good taste in cars. With sufficient resources to purchase pretty much any vehicle, this is the one she chose.gallery_enlarged-Kendall-Jenner-Classic-Corvette-01

 

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Some Really Good Questions

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does “slow down” and”slow up” mean the same thing?

Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

Why are they called ” stands” when they are made for sitting?

Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

 

A deaf mute walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five-dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf-mute, and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. “Look,” the pharmacist says, “if you can’t afford to lose, you shouldn’t bet.”  

 

The dull and desperate looking woman sat disconsolately in her attorney’s office. “On what grounds do you want a divorce?” asked the lawyer. On the grounds of extreme cruelty,” she replied. “He wants sex every night, front and back, and he has a dick like a donkey’s! – It hurts like buggery!”  The lawyer raised an eyebrow and said, “If that is the case, I will file your petition,” . “File my petition? Pig’s bloody arse you will!!! Let that bastard sandpaper his!”  

 

Bob was talking to a girl in a pub the other night, and said, “You remind me of my little toe.” “Is that because I’m small and cute?” she asked. “No,” he replied. “It’s because I’ll probably end up banging you on my coffee table later tonight.

 

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise or answered prayers.  Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.  She said, “I have a praise.  Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.” You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.  “Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed  as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.” Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.  “Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” All the men sighed with unified relief.  The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.  A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Phil.” The entire congregation held its breath.  “I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”

 

Thanks for visiting. Anything you do, or do not like? Something you would like to see? I do not claim to own the photos posted here. If you see your property here, and want it removed, or if you just have something to say, contact me via the comments section. If you liked what you found, here, you should check out my Tumblr page, http://rodzilla-world.tumblr.com/ I post similar content, there, but with less ranting.

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