Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.”

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I am quite late in publishing, today. I was up very late, last night, being naughty, and didn’t wake up until around noon. Time marched on while I cooked myself dinner and checked this issue for errors. Hope it was worth the wait.

 

I have my own pet peeves, so I’m just going to let this one go, with an explanation. A reader has called me out for my layout, here, where I put my comments before the photos or links. Sorry if that bothers you so much, ma’am, but that is the way this site rolls. Most of the time, the text is short enough that it is easy enough to just glance down at the picture, first, if you want. And, despite the fact that other sites do it differently, I prefer that my readers have an idea of what I am talking about before they see the content. Besides, it makes more sense, to me, to have the explanation come first.

 

And another question about running a blog. No, programming experience is not required. WordPress, the editor I use, and many others. will host a blog for you, for free, giving you a blank, customisable template that you can type text into, and upload photos, .gifs, and videos. You can find out everything you need to know when you sign up.

 

Well, I may have messed up. One of my readers has brought to my attention that I did not seem to notice the take out beverage in the woman’s hand in this photo that I included in my last post. So she likely just happened to be passing by the hearse, rather than being involved in the funeral. Which makes me wonder what the purpose was of whomever originally posted the photo. I really don’t care for the idea of just posting random pictures, without context, unless they easily explain themselves, and I have no idea what is photographically worthy in this scene.
tumblr_nqfr457c5A1uz6spbo1_400

 

I am happy to report that it has been almost a week, now, since my transgender/gay/lesbian rant, and no one has sent in a negative comment about it. You people are great.

 

I just found this. He explains it all quite simply. We are scrutinizing the wrong group.

 

If I completed this personality test truthfully, and I think I did, I have the commander personality type. “Born leader”, it said. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” I guess I can pretty much agree with that. I usually ignore other peoples’ opinions if I disagree with them, and, at my last job, I rose from knowing nothing about the job to lead operator in 5 or 6 years. Try it yourself, if you are curious.
http://www.16personalities.com/intj-conclusion

 

The kind of personality that would have made me tell these busybodies to get bent. You can’t tell me what I can, or can’t, do in my own yard. Go, ahead, call the cops, and tell them you want me to remove my zombie statue from my yard.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/04/25/nashville_neighborhood_association_yard_zombie_regulations_rankle_local.html

 

97% of all scientists agreeing on something isn’t enough to convince the uninformed.
http://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/11/4/048002

 

This seems like an accident waiting to happen. Especially with the Chinese involved. But why not pollute those waters, too?
http://www.canadiangeographic.ca/blog/posting.asp?ID=1994

 

Great idea. Dolls that teach children kindness.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/thedollkind/the-doll-kind-dolls-that-inspire-children-to-be-ki?utm_source=kickbooster&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=hefjps8c

 

So, hopefully, they won’t grow up to do things like these. How can anyone think acting like this is okay? Especially the ones that cost other people money, like walking on fresh cement, or leaving steaks unrefrigerated.
http://badsentinel.com/2016/04/23/annoying-things-in-this-world-really-drive-us-up-the-wall-30-photos/

 

Or this. Racism is alive and well in America. Surely management at this restaurant couldn’t be stupid enough to actually post this, would they? Even if it was a hack, lots of damage was done to their reputation.
http://mic.com/articles/141447/penny-s-diner-in-connecticut-alleges-racist-harriet-tubman-tweets-were-a-hoax?utm_source=policymicTBLR&utm_medium=main&utm_campaign=social#.Rf4j43qpx

 

Proud of the fact that you are not at all racist? Don’t be so sure.
http://www.cracked.com/article_23708_5-iconic-parts-pop-culture-that-are-secretly-racist.html

 

This not only looks like it was a lot of work, but it is also taking fandom to an entirely new level.
http://twentytwowords.com/this-woman-magically-painted-the-first-page-of-harry-potter-on-her-wall/

 

I lived with a woman, once, who had a young son. He was about 3 when we started dating, and close to 6 when we split up. He was a very happy and well behaved kid, for the most part, and we got along very well. Other adults are not as fortunate.
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7037076/11-hilarious-parents-who-proved-parenting-is-impossible

 

Who among you men (and, maybe, a few women) didn’t have fantasies about Vanna White “turning their letters”? Yeah, you, you’re lying. Vanna, and more interestingness in this week’s issue. Plus, Kelly Monaco is among us, and Jennifer Aniston is named Most Beautiful Woman? Someone needs an eye appointment. And Jennifer’s agent deserves a raise.
http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.ca/2016/04/goodstuffs-blogging-magazine-239th-issue.html

 

funny_pictures_of_the_day_5

 

When I was a kid, too. And, if we didn’t finish our supper, there was no late night snack allowed, either. If we asked for one, we were offered any supper leftovers that might be left. If there were none, tough luck. Fortunately, I liked almost everything my mother cooked.
funny_picdump_1199_640_41

 

Well, I don’t know how a guy is supposed to lose weight when they are making things like this.
http://wtvr.com/2016/04/27/kelloggs-unveils-root-beer-and-orange-crush-pop-tarts/

 

Weren’t these the same people who flooded the market, in the first place, and drove oil prices down? If it is hurting them so badly, why don’t they just lower production, so prices will rise again?
http://www.ctvnews.ca/business/imf-expects-us-500b-revenue-loss-for-mideast-oil-exporters-1.2873113

 

I am not subscribed to HBO, so I have never watched Game of Thrones, but I found this interesting. I know the show is extremely popular.
http://uproxx.com/tv/game-of-thrones-pornhub-traffic-drop/

 

The show could be streamed through a cut of meat.
https://www.newscientist.com/article/2084429-wireless-signal-sent-through-meat-fast-enough-to-watch-netflix/

 

That guy who wants to “run” from Florida to Bermuda had to be rescued, again, for the second time in two attempts.
http://globalnews.ca/news/2660084/bubble-burst-florida-man-using-hydropod-rescued-at-sea/?sf24977469=1

 

Dude can go fishing without leaving home. I didn’t watch the video, but the story didn’t say if he was married. I’m going to assume he isn’t.
http://geekologie.com/2016/04/guy-builds-dream-home-over-pond-fishes-t.php

 

This seems like a great method of pest control.
http://vergenoegd.co.za/about/the-duck-parade/

 

I don’t like bugs, but these macro photos of them are interesting.
http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2016/04/levon-biss-miscrosculpture-insects/

 

I don’t see it as discrimination if an obese person is forced to pay for two seats. If they are taking up the space of another passenger, they should have to pay for it. Bumping them from the flight entirely is a different story.
http://globalnews.ca/news/2660127/discriminated-against-for-being-obese-halifax-man-takes-delta-air-to-court/

 

Ever wonder how those airplanes that tow the advertising banners through the air get started with one?

 

When I was working, I often woke up, and got out of bed, without needing even an alarm clock, hours before it was time to actually go to work. If I needed to be electrocuted to awaken, my life would truly suck.
http://www.hispotion.com/electric-everyday-wake-shocker-44735

 

My current condition, recovering from a broken leg, makes me think that this would be a good thing to have. Moving around on crutches is an enormous nuisance, especially if I want to carry something with me. Trying to shop is horrible. I have to ask for a bag to put items in until I get to the till, and some people get very suspicious. I went downtown, on Thursday, to check my mail, pay some bills, and pick up a few necessities. I was only gone 90 minutes, but was exhausted when I got back home. Lots of kind people held doors open for me, but there were also others who nearly kicked my crutches out from under me, in their hurry to get around me. I can’t wait until May 5th, when I have an appointment with the doctor who fixed my leg, to have it X-Rayed, and see if it is healing properly.
http://the-future-now.tumblr.com/post/143479054300/follow-the-future-now

 

Common sense storage, in a high cupboard, or on a shelf that children can’t reach, would prevent this.
http://www.ctvnews.ca/health/these-really-are-a-problem-study-raises-alarms-over-detergent-pods-1.2873424

 

OK, now here, in my opinion, is makeup done correctly. In most cases, anyway, skin problems are hidden while retaining the ladies’ natural appearance. 
http://izismile.com/2016/04/25/how_makeup_nicely_done_can_conceal_girls_skin_problems_23_pics.html

 

Sorry, ladies, but that’s the way I see it, too.
;lkjh

 

These devices were installed a few years ago, but I just learned about them now.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/gallery/2014/jun/13/anti-skating-board-architecture-in-pictures

 

I was not aware that corn starch was flammable, either.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/taiwan-colour-party-organiser-guilty-over-blast-killed-032806155.html?ref=gs

 

Found this after I had published the previous list in my last post. More strange breakup excuses.
http://www.barnorama.com/men-and-women-reveal-their-true-reasons-for-breaking-up/

 

Someone created a paper airplane making machine.
https://deepfriedbits.com/2016/04/23/paper-airplane-machine/

 

I don’t wear jewelry, but I think these rings are way cool.
http://www.mysecretwood.com/products

 

So, Beyonce has released her new album, which, apparently, is all about the affair that her husband had, last year, which led to his beatdown in the elevator by her sister. The woman Jay Z cheated with has supposedly been named as Rachel Roy, the ex-wife of one of Jay’s former partners, but she released a statement, a few days later, which denied that. Which could just be an attempt at eluding trouble. Some of Beyoncé’s fans decided to call her out, but didn’t read the name properly, and went on the warpath against celebrity chef Rachel Ray. And the real Rachel Roy deleted her public media accounts because of all of the negative comments they were getting. Then, the rumor started that “Becky” was actually Rita Ora, and the mob turned their torches and pitchforks on her. But I haven’t seen any malicious attacks on Jay Z, just a bunch of memes that are more teasing him for getting caught than attacking him for infidelity. Wonder why that is? I also found out that the lyric “Becky with the good hair” refers back to the days of slavery, when girls with straighter hair got easier jobs, working in the yard or house, as opposed to the ones with more natural, curly hair, who were usually sent to the fields, to do the much more laborious work.f6g7This whole deal made me think, though. If Beyoncé is as “all that” as her Beyhive claims, why would Jay want to step out on her? Are we men really all just scum? Or did she get too “independent woman” on him, and wouldn’t give him none? Personally, I am not nearly as impressed by Beyonce or her music as the rest of the world seems to be, though. I watched the video for the song Formation, but I was not at all impressed. I also heard a sample of the track Hold Up, Which didn’t make me want to buy the album, either. So, while I agree that the images are visually impressive, I am convinced, until I see more of it, anyway, that the hype is overblown. If you want to make a statement, that is fine, but if your songs don’t make me want to listen, you are wasting both of our time.

 

Wanna record a proper diss track? Take a lesson from the Pistol Annies. They know a thing or two about revenge, and also about how to write a catchy tune.

 

or two

 

Then there is this unlikely (my opinion) explanation for all the fuss Beyoncé is making. But what do I know? Stranger things have happened in the name of money and fame.
http://memewhore.tumblr.com/post/143370279367/el-rompecabezas-memewhore-but-can-you

 

Oh, come on! Give your head a shake, man, and come back to reality. As if there isn’t already a race war going on.
http://blackbag.gawker.com/alex-jones-beyonces-lemonade-was-funded-by-the-cia-to-1772977685?utm_campaign=socialflow_gawker_twitter&utm_source=gawker_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

Nah, this explanation seems much more logical. Jay Z just plain done fucked up. You don’t shame a powerful woman, and get away with it. Still, industry experts are saying that this album may save his Tidal music service, since the songs are exclusively available there. So Beyoncé may have already forgiven him. Or wants to make sure he can afford alimony.
http://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/apr/25/beyonce-hillary-clinton-jay-z-lemonade-cheating?CMP=tmb_gu

 

This article lends a lot of weight to the “she has forgiven him” theory. As well as the “it was all just an elaborate set up” one.
http://www.edmontonsun.com/2016/04/28/beyonce-puts-cheating-rumours-to-rest-by-dedicating-song-to-jay-z-during-tour-opener

 

tcg

 

See, now this is exactly why I don’t like Wikipedia, and never use it as a reference. It is just too easy for someone to decide they are going to take offense to something, or just decide to be malicious, and edit the truth. Sure, it can just as easily be changed back, but, by then, the damage has been done.
http://hollywoodlife.com/2016/04/24/rachel-roy-wikipedia-page-hacked-beyonce-fans-becky-cheating-jay-z/

 

Others edit their entries themselves, to serve their own nefarious purposes.
http://www.wisebread.com/the-student-who-created-a-pr-nightmare-via-wikipedia

 

It  seems as though there may be some truth to the rumors about Prince’s death being drug related. Or is this guy pulling a scam, trying to get paid for doing interviews? I also read that The National Enquirer has jumped on the “Prince died of AIDS”  bandwagon. Yeah, right, like they never made a false claim. A few days after reading this, I saw a story on Global news, that reported prescription painkillers were found with his body.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3555292/Prince-s-former-drug-dealer-reveals-extent-addiction.html?ito=social-facebook

 

If you are interested, you can listen to Prince’s personal party music playlist here. A lot of great music, there, and some I had never heard of before.
http://boingboing.net/2016/04/25/listen-to-princes-personal-p.html

 

Mary Chapin Carpenter just released her new album. You can listen to it here, if you are interested. The track The Blue Distance is my favorite, and I really like it.
http://www.npr.org/2016/04/28/475832877/first-listen-mary-chapin-carpenter-the-things-that-we-are-made-of?utm_source=tumblr.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nprmusic&utm_term=music&utm_content=20160428

 

How can it be 50 years since The Monkees formed? I was not aware that they had been together for so long. I listened to them as a teen, and thought they were a new band at that time.
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/hear-rivers-cuomos-upbeat-song-for-new-monkees-album-20160428

 

Snoop Dogg learns how to do “The Carlton” from the man himself. If you are not familiar with Vine, hover over the picture, and a play icon will appear.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BEhGyqnv9De/?taken-by=snoopdogg

 

From the comments I read, this is a useful device. The site did not give any explanation about how it works, but I assume it is some type of graphic equalizer.
https://www.boomcloud360.com/index.php/boomstick.html

 

This isn’t at all morbid or creepy. The site says it’s okay to laugh at death, but I think otherwise when that death is not your own.
http://www.ranker.com/list/celebrity-death-pool-2016/celebrity-events?page=2

 

Imagine having this as an obituary.
http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/asia/79274480/chinese-tourist-killed-by-rockfall-caused-by-monkeys

 

Oh, you poor people. You were so close. So very close.
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7036773/15-people-who-were-close-to-getting-it-right-yet-so-very-far

 

Setting goals is good, I guess, and tracking your progress definitely helps you see how you are doing. It also provides motivation, but I would never pay for a phone app to assist me in doing that.
http://fieldguide.gizmodo.com/6-apps-to-help-your-form-better-habits-1770025584?utm_campaign=socialflow_gizmodo_twitter&utm_source=gizmodo_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

I wouldn’t need, or want, a “smart” clothes pin to monitor my laundry, either. “Frees you up to do other things”? Like what? How much bloody time does waiting for your clothes to dry take you? If you have done it once, you should know about how long it takes. Just add or subtract a bit of time on cooler and hotter days.
http://mentalfloss.com/article/78985/smart-clothespin-tells-you-when-your-laundry-done

 

“My parents were always putting her down (down, down). Because our laundry came back brown (brown, brown).” Funny take on the classic song “Leader of the Pack”.

 

I doubt if many teens would take the advice of an old man, especially regarding smart phone use, but I still believe it is sound thinking.
http://gizmodo.com/pope-francis-to-teens-get-off-your-phones-1772898520?

 

But, I think this proves he is fairly cool. Just follow the link, and listen to the track Wake Up, which begins at 31:43. The site that made me aware of this album titled the post “Pope Francis channels Pink Floyd”, and the music on this track certainly sounds like something they could have done. The Pope’s words are his Homily during the closing Mass for the VI Asian Youth Day at the Haemi Castle, in South Korea (17th August 2014). I listened to other parts of the album, and there is some other modern sounding music there, although most of the speeches are in Italian, so impossible for me to understand.

 

I never saw the point of the Apple watch, and I doubt if I would even be able to use it. I have trouble hitting the much larger buttons on the screen of my phone accurately with my fingers. This article did not make me think more kindly of Apple’s device.
http://gizmodo.com/my-god-awful-year-with-the-apple-watch-1772724490?utm_campaign=socialflow_gizmodo_twitter&utm_source=gizmodo_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

There is something seriously wrong with the world when stupid people force cities to absorb the extra cost to embed traffic signals in the pavement because pedestrians are too lazy to look up from their phones.
http://www.thestar.com/news/world/2016/04/26/german-city-installs-ground-level-traffic-lights-for-smartphone-obsessed-pedestrians.html

 

This study reports that cell phone addiction is leading to illiteracy. No doubt, with the slang that is so commonly used, which barely resembles English, and the fact that Twitter forces users to abbreviate to fit their messages in.
http://www.theage.com.au/national/education/why-parents-must-unplug-their-kids-to-improve-their-literacy-20160408-go1n5w/

 

Intel wants to replace the headphone jack on your mobile device with the USB-C port. That will help allow devices to be made thinner.
http://www.engadget.com/2016/04/27/intel-usb-c-digital-audio/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

 

Stabilized video, showing just how powerful the recent earthquake in Japan actually was.
https://www.good.is/articles/kumamoto-quake-was-terrifying?utm_source=TSE&utm_medium=FB&utm_campaign=pd&utm_content=inf_10_81_1&tse_id=INF_757215aa41ab43a085cf90385519162c

 

Only an idiot would make a public threat to set off a bomb, before doing it. Even if it was an empty threat. He didn’t seem to learn much in his psychology classes.
http://coed.com/2016/04/24/donald-trump-rally-bomb-threat-connecticut/

 

…and people wonder why I get so upset when I see them throw garbage on the street.
http://themetapicture.com/were-probably-the-worst-species-that-ever-lived-on-this-planet/

 

This seems like a very useful device. Especially as we approach the apocalypse.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/littleluxury/little-luxury-outdoor-extreme-water-cooler?utm_source=kickbooster&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=link&utm_campaign=ufpb8wlh

 

I wonder if it is the same here, in Canada, and if it has to be a cop that accepts it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/4gm06s/lpt_to_all_cops_with_a_711_in_their_district_stop/

 

John Audobon pranked a fellow naturalist so well that the truth was not learned for the next 50 years.
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/audubon-made-up-at-least-28-fake-species-to-prank-a-rival

 

How long would it take to become familiar enough with a lion to do this? The man is caretaker of a lion preserve, so he is very comfortable with them.
https://vine.co/v/OFvb59T2KIJ

 

Cats love exploring, and this one is certainly seeing lots of new places.
http://www.today.com/pets/cats-ahoy-kitten-sails-around-world-having-time-her-life-t88561?cid=sm_tw

 

Dogs find being hugged by humans stressful?
http://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/it-s-a-matter-of-safety-why-a-ubc-researcher-says-don-t-hug-your-dog-1.2876684

 

Or do they? Apparently that “study” was more like one man’s opinion, and wasn’t even reviewed by any of his peers. So, go give your dog a hug right now, if you have one, and see how it reacts.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article74346727.html

 

I never go in the ocean, but I am still glad these creatures are extinct.
http://news.discovery.com/animals/whales-dolphins/tooth-of-extinct-killer-sperm-whale-found-in-australia-160422.htm?utm_source=Twitter.com&utm_campaign=Discovery&utm_medium=social&sf24836204=1

 

I was surprised to learn that there are enough Megalodon teeth existing that they can be purchased by anyone, and for a relatively low price.
https://www.fossilera.com/fossils/bargain-2-25-megalodon-tooth-north-carolina/

 

I have read, and heard, that many scientists think the only reason whales do this is for the pleasure of it, and because they can. Others believe it is a way of signaling other whales.
tumblr_o34vo3cG0W1qbxi45o1_500

 

tumblr_o5q2siKfk71uf9nk4o1_500

 

“Did I say you could stop?”
tumblr_o5iwudY3b61tlb56zo1_500

 

Deer is surprised by the shedding of its antlers.tumblr_mzv0b0f0p31s2yegdo1_r2_400

 

tumblr_o5q2m8Jtfu1uf0rwxo1_500

 

Imagine if ostriches could fly. Just a random thought I had.
Cg2mBqwXEAAmlUo

 

tumblr_o5serwrqCP1r8brruo1_250

 

tumblr_nq6gb546kc1tlb56zo1_400

 

Funtasticus-picdump-7

 

baby-and-dog-gif

 

morning_picdump_936_640_42

 

hide-and-seek

 

funny-gif-dog-riding-skate-road

 

tumblr_o5wbgzsgoz1qkvbwso1_500

 

Bird has a look like “…and the reason you did that was?”
tumblr_o6bfzxGeuA1tlb56zo1_400

 

“Oh, darling, you make my head spin!”
tumblr_nxihlgnu7w1uuyy36o1_500

 

tumblr_o68w0ewPda1tlb56zo1_500

 

funny-gif-dog-puppy-hiccups

 

tumblr_o501gevUU01tf4fsio1_1280

 

As cute as it is, the main thing I took away from this video was that dolphins are too intelligent to be kept as slaves for the entertainment of humans.

 

any%20insanity

 

Yeah, or she could just…um, you know, pull down the shade on that window.
funny-woman-ponytail-covering-eyes-plane

 

tumblr_o5sill3qBy1vo4c6co1_500

 

tumblr_o5ww1nSrLw1tlb56zo1_400

 

Remember the study, up above, linking smart phones to illiteracy? So, what would be the excuse for the use of the word “became” in this? Of course, nowadays, one never knows if English was the poster’s first language.Saturday-Awesomeness-11-2

 

Saturday-Awesomeness-39-2

 

fmc160419

 

Imagine Obama doing something like this in Russia. Trump, maybe.
tumblr_o639bv3q5V1qhi5qbo2_540

 

uyt

 

She must be so proud that all the guys are fighting over who gets her. I know it’s mean, but I still found it funny.

 

EW! Awkward.

 

 

 

Well, that’s a bit unsettling…Bernie is in great shape, though.funny_picdump_1197_640_06

 

funny_picdump_1197_640_high_05

 

tumblr_o670i2cN3F1qasthro3_540

 

This is how one guy ran the London Marathon.
tumblr_o68z5hC0nb1tjjzxpo1_1280

 

I don’t have very good balance, so I would have been on my ass in about 2 seconds.
thumbs_045

 

Nagasaki before and after the atom bomb.
tumblr_o68h2f2wt51qzft56o1_1280

 

While we’re being serious:
tumblr_o671x9fG1g1qa53wno1_540 tumblr_o671x9fG1g1qa53wno2_540 tumblr_o671x9fG1g1qa53wno5_540 tumblr_o671x9fG1g1qa53wno7_540 tumblr_o671x9fG1g1qa53wno9_540

 

tumblr_o69nsutI6a1qjnhqgo1_500

 

 

Monsters!
untitled

 

funny-cartoon-police-dog-disco-joke

 

kjghfd

 

lkiuyjtr

 

crime33

 

didntdoitBITS

 

prostate

 

tumblr_o62lzcc7LG1qb7h3no1_500

 

tumblr_o678i07khs1qe23y5o1_500

 

fmc160425

 

Such selfless chivalry is admirable. I’m sure she’ll reward him later.funny-gif-Jason-Friday-13th-prank

 

kjghf

 

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Nnnnope!tumblr_o692872rTI1sqz6s1o1_400

 

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No matter how much you hate your job or your boss, some things just aren’t cool.tumblr_o69xd8LUSh1qf0i9eo1_500

 

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That’s simply amazing! Where can I get one?
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j,hmgf

 

Also, what do you see here? One in five people miss it, so if you do, too, don’t feel bad. The answer is posted later on in this blog, at the start of the jokes section.
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Post-Turtles

 

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True story. Dude watched his first hockey game, and was amazed.
JDPL1id

 

Well, I just happened to visit a site which identified the volcanos in the photo I included in the previous post. One of them, anyway.  Kliuchevskoi is the highest and most active volcano on Russia’s Kamchatka peninsula, in the far East of the country.
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Star trails over Cape Town, South Africa.

 

Double, no, TRIPLE DRAT! I was all pumped to order one of these way cool galaxy hoodies, but they are not available in my extra substantial size.
http://wantstrawberrybabe.tumblr.com/post/137265615016/super-star-galaxy-001-002-003-004

 

Evidence of ancient flooding on Mars. Yes, flooding.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2016/04/25/martian_crater_ripped_in_half_by_cataclysmic_flood.html

 

The Curiosity rover has taken on some very challenging terrain, on Mars.
http://www.engadget.com/2016/04/28/curiosity-360-degree-rugged-plateau/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

 

Scientists have found evidence, in rocks collected on the Moon, that a star relatively close to Earth went supernova about 2 million years ago. 
http://earthsky.org/space/moon-rocks-reveal-nearby-supernova

 

Is the Universe aligning?
http://gizmodo.com/a-dozen-black-holes-are-mysteriously-spewing-energy-in-1772855254?utm_campaign=socialflow_gizmodo_twitter&utm_source=gizmodo_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 

One small area in Spain has recently been gathering falling space junk.
http://all-that-is-interesting.com/space-junk-spain

 

The “Cosmic hand of destruction”.
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2009/04/09/the-cosmic-hand-of-destruction/

 

Spending a lot of time in weightlessness will give you the body of an old alcoholic.
http://www.universetoday.com/128553/spaceflight-will-give-body-elderly-alcoholic-shut/

 

Stellarscapes by Oriol Angrill Jordà. Odd that the artists own Facebook gallery only shows two of these. Otherwise, I would have linked to it.

 

Artists illustration of Io with Jupiter in the background.Artists illustration of Io

 

4 lightning bolts strike the Aegean Sea during a 2011 lunar eclipse.4 lightning bolts strike the Aegean Sea during a 2011 lunar eclipse

 

The crescent moon, with the rest of its surface illuminated by Earthshine (the light of the Sun reflected from the Earth), just before sunrise. Above it is the planet Venus. In the foreground is the dome which houses the 1.2 meter VLT Auxiliary Telescope, part of the Very Large Telescope array, at the European Southern Observatory, in the Atacama Desert region of Chile.
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A new Earthrise image, in HD, courtesy of the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter.
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This animation shows a piece of comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 hitting Jupiter in July 1994. The bright object on the right of Jupiter is one of its moons, Io. April 29 is Eugene Shoemaker’s birthday. He was co-discoverer of the comet.
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The recent earthquake in Japan is affecting U.S. auto production.
http://www.freep.com/story/money/cars/general-motors/2016/04/22/gm-idling-4-plants-post-earthquake-could-bad-timing/83385766/

 

A great old race car is going up for auction. It surprised me to learn how expensive a heater package was, from the factory.
http://blog.hemmings.com/index.php/2016/04/21/bench-seat-brawler-the-l72-equipped-bonanza-biscayne/

 

NICE! All about Ferruccio Lamborghini’s Riva Aquarama speedboat, which sports dual V-12 Lamborghini engines. Because who can stand driving a boat with only one measly V-8?
http://www.gizmag.com/lamborghini-riva-aquarama/29402/

 

Australia’s fastest street car is quite a beast. And very uncommon.
http://bangshift.com/general-news/car-features/ford-car-features/this-absolutely-mental-ford-capri-is-australias-fastest-street-car-6-95199-mph/

 

When I read the headline, I assumed it had some kind of electronic control, and I thought “no way”. This sounds a lot more reliable. As well as more efficient, and less polluting.
http://www.motorauthority.com/news/1103619_freevalve-camless-engine-shown-in-qoros-concept-at-2016-beijing-auto-show

 

An entire day of Mopars being flogged. I would have loved to be there. Lots of good looking iron in the photo gallery.
http://www.hotrod.com/events/1604-worlds-biggest-mopar-open-track-day-hits-willow-springs/

 

Interesting story of a man who bought a brand new 1971 Dodge Charger R/T, and still owns it.
https://vimeo.com/22457028

 

I don’t know if it was supposed to be ironic, or satirical, but this picture was posted with the comment “Employee of the month”. Maybe asshole of the year. If someone did this to my car, I would hunt them down, and unleash the fury of Hell upon them. Even if there was a No Parking sign posted, there was zero excuse for this vandalism.
IC1MF5z

 

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YIKES! I used to go to the track, here, in Edmonton, every weekend, when I had a vehicle. Saw a fair amount of this kind of thing.
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I would have liked it much better without the scallops, but that is just my opinion.tumblr_o63xes6J7Q1s1r51io1_500

 

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Henry “The Fonz” Winkler is unmistakeable, but I never would have recognized “Ralph Malph” or “Potsie” without the caption that was posted with this photo. Once I knew, it was easy to see.
The Fonz, Ralph Malph and Potsie

 

Billy Gibbons’ (ZZ Top) “Cadzilla”.
Cadillac-Sedanette

 

An example of the actual vehicle Cadzilla was made from, a 1948 Cadillac Sedanette. Man, there was a ton of body modifications done!
1948-cadillac-series-62-generation-iii-3-2-door-club-coupe-sedanette-1

 

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The 1952 Ferrari 340 Mexico was limited to just three examples — the Competizione, shown below, is a one-off that began life as a Ferrari 456 GT, and kept its 470hp, 5.4L V12 and six-speed manual while gaining new aerodynamics, suspension, brakes, an interior that recalls the 340 Mexico while retaining some modern niceties, and new aluminum bodywork.Ferrari-F340-960x600

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It always makes me a bit sad, when I see old classics fading away like this.
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Sorry for keeping you in suspense. For those of you who thought they saw a bat hanging upside down, or some kind of bug, sorry, but no. Congratulations to anyone who saw a man in a cowboy hat. I missed it, too.

 

Much better, and way more satisfying, than simply telling telemarketers to fuck off.

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.

ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T …

ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T …

ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?

ME: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T …

ME: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T …

ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren’t selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, that’s 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that’s right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That’s right.

ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That’s amazing!
AT&T: We think so!

ME: That’s quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it’s amazing how it adds up.

ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T: Excuse me?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?

ME: You said you’d give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I’m just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn’t mean we’d be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you’ll give me 10 cents a minute, that I’ll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I’ve read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don’t think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?
ME: Yeah.

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T &T?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to
get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I’ll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

ME: No, but I was wondering – do you have that “Friends and Family”
thing because I’m an only child and I’d really like to have a little brother…

AT&T: click……..

 

A wife comes home late at night, after being out of town and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. Hi Darling,” he says, “Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Go say hello to them.

 

Q: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?

A: To find a tight seal.

 

Q: Why do so many new brides get crow’s feet as soon as they are married?

A: From squinting and saying: “Suck what?”

 

This pearl of history may have escaped you. I’ve always been a student of history but I didn’t know this. In 1272, the Arab Muslims invented the condom, using a goat’s lower intestine.  In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first. Don’t thank me; I do this as a public service for the advancement of education.

 

I don’t want to say I’m all old and worn out, but I make it a point to be nowhere near the curb on trash day.

McCreedy is sitting at the bar jerking his meat. The bartender says, “Look, Mac, you’ve got to stop that, or get out of here.”The drunk says, “Are you kiddin’? I’m so drunk I can’t walk. Hell, I’m so drunk, I don’t even know who I’m fuckin’.” 

 

Thanks for visiting. Anything you do, or do not like? Something you would like to see? I do not claim to own the photos posted here. If you see your property here, and want it removed, or if you just have something to say, contact me via the comments section. If you liked what you found, here, please tell your friends. You might also want to check out my Tumblr page, http://rodzilla-world.tumblr.com/ I post similar content, there, but with less ranting.