When I’m old I won’t need glasses. I’ll drink straight from the bottle.

umtyrt

 

Leg status update:

Okay, there may be many of you who might be wondering why I didn’t publish on schedule, a few days ago. Truth be told, I was in the hospital, getting my “sprained” ankle repaired. The swelling finally started to go down, revealing an abnormal lump in a very odd place. It turned out that I had not only broken two bones in my lower leg, but also dislocated my ankle. The doctor plus all of the associated staff on the operating team were amazed that I was able to get around on my own, with the damage that was done. It took them two tries over a day and a half to put the limbs back into proper order, but, after a great deal of struggle, they finally managed to do it.  
And I was still better off than the guy in the next bed. He had been out riding dirt bikes, landed wrong, and drove his kneecap up into his upper leg. He was in a lot of pain before his operation, afterward, he was pretty much in nonstop agony. They were offering him Tylenol 3, but he just laughed at the idea. Percocet was the only things that gave him any relief. The day I was discharged, they were reattaching the tendon to his upper kneecap. They also seemed very reluctant to give him a doctor’s note, explaining why he was missing so much work. Today was 5 days, after which his pay was going to be cut off. I don’t understand the reluctance.
I also don’t understand why they tried to make me walk
 (ride) down one floor and move, on crutches, halfway around the building, to get to the pharmacy for my medication and out the front door to my taxi. Fortunately, I met a student nurse who I had become friendly with, and she told me that was B.S., and went to get a wheelchair. She wheeled me to the pharmacy, bank machine, and telephone, so I could order a taxi.
So, if you want to harass me, you could call me “Steve Austin”, or “The $6 Million Dollar Man.” Yup, better, faster (possibly), stronger (yeah, right…) and, hopefully, smarter. If, in the future, I attempt to diagnose any medical ailment, I would understand if you would kindly tell me to shove it. 
It also seems that it would be extremely easy to turn into a big fat ball with fingers and toes. I started running low on a few things like bread, and eggs. As I was debating who to bother to assist me in grocery shopping, I thought that there might be a grocery delivery service in a city of this size. Sure enough, there were a few. I put together a list, just to see how expensive it would be. To my surprise, the total was not far off from what I normally spend on a weekly grocery run. Maybe even a bit less, since a taxi to and from the nearest store is around $20, and the delivery charge for my order was only $10. Minimum order is $75, but I usually spend close to $100 on a weekly grocery run, so no problem there. Not to mention that I didn’t have to schlep everything home on my own, or wait for the taxis to arrive. Everything was very fresh, in fact, the bananas were still not quite ripe. The bread and muffins seemed like they had come out of the oven very recently. I may just keep using this service once I am mobile again, and simplify my life a bit.

 

A baby was born with a full head of hair, and, after the mother posted photos online, the Internet reacted as the Internet does.
http://www.boredpanda.com/hairy-baby-full-head-of-hair-isabelle-kaplan/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=BPFacebook

 

If your tiny child brings you a glass of water, ask yourself where she could have gotten it.
http://imgur.com/gallery/LT73HPe

 

Imagine your job description forcing you to protect a child molester. I wonder if there are any others in that prison who share Nigg’s viewpoint. I have often read that most inmates hate people like Fogle.
http://www.tmz.com/2016/04/05/jared-fogle-threat-prison-sex-offender/

 

I don’t know her, and don’t know much about Paula Davis, except that she recently lost her dad to cancer and is shaving her head for Macmillan Cancer Support. I saw her story/plea for support on a site I regularly visit, and I figured, what the hell, it’s for a good cause, why not spread the word?
https://bravetheshave.org.uk/shavers/paula-davis/

 

Even by putting this silly contraption down, I suppose I am promoting it. Hopefully my readers are intelligent enough to not want one.
http://resenv.media.mit.edu/halo/

 

What was it, a couple of weeks ago that this foolish invention was announced? Finally, someone with enough sense to see the problem with it, and enough power to do something about it, has become involved.
http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/apr/05/smartphone-gun-investigation-schumer-ideal-conceal-pocket-pistol?CMP=tmb_gu

 

Regular readers know how much I detest office food thieves. This one went way too, far, and, then, showed his true colors once he got caught.
http://deepfriedbits.com/2016/04/04/thief-vs-t-swiss/

 

With the area codes in Alberta being 780, 587, and 403, how, exactly, does one go about dialing 911 by mistake? Even worse is tying up an emergency line for a frivolous matter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/04/05/stupid-911-calls_n_9618604.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-alberta&ir=Canada+Alberta

 

You can’t make shit like this up. No one would believe it.
http://www.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2016/03/snoring_alabama_drug_suspect_f.html

 

Last time around, I shared some engineering fails. It turns out that those fools have company.
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7036337/11-cringeworthy-design-fails-that-defeat-the-whole-purpose

 

The choir in Heaven must be sounding very good, by now. They are adding members at a frantic rate, And, even with all of these other musicians passing away, I see no tributes to any of them on the Tumblr pages I follow. Yet the one to David Bowie are still appearing every day or two. I’m not saying David does not deserve them, but why so many, for so long, yet every other passing is being ignored?
http://www.wsmv.com/story/31658132/country-music-legend-merle-haggard-dies-at-79

 

Cuteness overload.
https://vine.co/v/er6ZEF3FQmt/embed/simplehttps://platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.js

 

Funny-Pics-41-1

 

Listen, everyone, the world is not here just to please you. Think about what you are doing, and be polite in public. This photo was shared on Twitter by a journalist after the passenger in front of him draped her hair over her seat back, and over his TV monitor. If this happened to me, first I would politely ask her to move her hair. If she refused, UNLEASH THE FURY! Actually, a better first move might be to bring the offending hair to the attention of the flight attendant, and let them deal with it. That is part of their job, isn’t it? If they are unsuccessful, THE FURY!
1459532284-0

 

Unbelievable! So this is Justin Bieber’s new look. He calls it “dreads”, but that is the poorest excuse for dreadlocks that I have ever seen. And it looks stupid.
justin-bieber-e1459710201169

 

Now here are some musicians I can respect. I, and a few friends, have tickets to see The Who in concert in May, here in Edmonton. I am in great anticipation of the organ opening to the song Won’t Get Fooled Again, played live. Actually, the entire song. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
tumblr_mu772kCTmP1sk56lyo1_500

 

I may have to make listening to The Strombo (George Strombolopolis, host) Show on a regular basis. Gotta keep up on the music industry, right? And, when he has a special guest like The Cult, well, I’m just glad I found this. It is possible to fast forward past the poop by dragging the indicator on the timeline, so you can just go straight to The Cult, about 1/2 way through. I didn’t care at all for the first two tracks.
http://music.cbc.ca/#!/blogs/2016/4/Listen-to-the-Cult-electrify-the-House-of-Strombo

 

Couldn’t get these next two any larger without them getting too grainy to see properly.

Well, that’s one way to do it…
slick-move3

 

tumblr_ntb03raft61ub53xxo1_400

 

Sunday-Morning-Funnies-016

 

That’s the look you’re going with in public, tough guy?25286_058

 

All I’m going to say is that you never see someone like Candice Swanepoel wearing shit like this. She looks so happy…

 

 

I detest “reality” shows that are scripted. And faked.

 

I truly hope this is not a real photo.

 

OK, gonna break my rule about tattoos for this one.

 

Well, that didn’t work as planned.tumblr_o4wpfzBfKj1v6o1uso1_500

 

tumblr_o4saifcJ5T1se3pgko1_500

 

Look very closely, and you should see it.
GyE4vrk

 

Far too often have I succumbed to alcohol’s sweet siren song. Fortunately, though, I was able to avoid “beer goggles”. To be honest, though, I didn’t do much dating, in my youth.tumblr_o3oycbcoRV1qcu3vno2_500

 

One of our group of teens was notorious for mishearing lyrics. He was entertaining, though.tumblr_o3oycbcoRV1qcu3vno1_500

 

A toucan skeleton.

 

fwt2rp5wfczk0

 

I suppose he thinks that look makes him look cool, and interesting, and that women will approach him because of it. That stupid scarf makes him look like one of those stuck up intellectual types that I can’t stand.funny-212

 

Impressive.Backflippin-Kid

 

Just a few things to ponder:
Provoking-Images-01

Provoking-Images-12

Provoking-Images-13

Provoking-Images-17

 

tumblr_o4swmxF7Bt1sodnr0o1_1280

 

tumblr_nzohkr0q3C1s5rco8o1_500

 

“What the cluck just happened?”Chicken-Surprise

 

iuy

 

rdthyuk

 

tumblr_o4jpolxTFn1r8w1q5o1_500

 

tumblr_o4r3x65mvq1vpshlto6_400

 

So, why didn’t whomever was filming this fool warn him?tumblr_o53ssdTorv1s1ddrjo1_400

 

cool-Canada-bill-Spock-drawing

 

Reine, a fishing village in Norway.
fishing-village-hamnoy-norway_82052_990x742

 

High and low tide in the Bay of Fundy.
High and low tide in the Bay of Fundy in Canada.

 

Lots of interesting stuff is happening on Mars.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2016/04/05/mars_rover_opportunity_spies_a_towering_vortex_of_wind.html

 

A 58 shot, 150MP image of the Milky Way over Guilderton Lighthouse in Western Australia.a 58 shot, 150MP image of the Milky Way over Guilderton Lighthouse in Western Australia.

 

The Syrtis Major volcanic province on MarsThe Syrtis Major volcanic province on Mars

 

While I am positive that, if I were to win a large lottery jackpot, my first thought of a reward to myself would be a 1960’s era muscle car, a Bentley would definitely also be among the potential choices.
http://www.motorauthority.com/news/1103236_bentley-unveils-its-fastest-model-ever-the-continental-gt-speed#image=100551297

 

This 1970 Camaro Z 28 has been rebuilt twice, and is a beautiful example of the model.
http://petrolicious.com/this-chevrolet-camaro-has-been-brought-back-from-the-dead-twice

 

I had the same thought as the author of the article, when I read the headline: Why crush them? It would be much better to sell them, and add those funds to the department’s budget.
http://lanesplitter.jalopnik.com/nypd-will-publicly-crush-seized-motorcycles-to-crack-do-1769236088?rev=1459892790943&utm_campaign=socialflow_jalopnik_twitter&utm_source=jalopnik_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

 


Just imagine the amount of work that must have gone into creating this beauty.

http://www.hemmings.com/classifieds/cars-for-sale/ford/unspecified/1818824.html?refer=blog

 

How much of a tool do you have to be to believe this is a valid alternative? I would love to be a cop, and see this. That car would be towed so fast…

 

tumblr_o52fz8ppCD1tras6xo1_400

 

tumblr_o52g17z5bV1tras6xo1_1280

 

tumblr_o52ee2uE5P1symqv8o1_1280

 

Radass-Daily-Picdump-015-2

 

tumblr_o4vgxxOZGX1s4rdwyo1_1280

 

tumblr_o56ue1NwT51tras6xo1_1280

 

One of the new “Drag Pak” Dodge Challengers that is being sold strictly for racing. They are not street legal due to all of the speed modifications.
tumblr_o56bjuurwU1u4m3dno1_1280

 

Australian Telephone Helpline Operator: “G’day mate … Helpline here … What’s the problem?” Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!” Australian Telephone Helpline Operator: “Bummer!” Customer: “Great advice! Thanks, mate, bye.

 

Jim paid $500 to a madam for a virgin whore. He was sent to an upstairs room, where a fresh-faced 18-year-old expertly sucked him to the brink of coming, then quickly finished him off in her vagina. The whole session lasted less than five minutes. Jim was not happy. “They said I’m the first man you ever fucked,” he complained. The girl looked blankly at Jim. “You might be,” she smiled helpfully. “Your face looks sort of familiar.”

 

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left. “Janie, do you have a story to share?” “Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine  pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her  bare hands.” ”Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this terrible story?” “Don’t screw with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”

 

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy’s ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father’s hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, “Do it again, Dad!”

 

The weather was very hot and a man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming outfit, but He was all alone.   So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction.  He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby.  He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed  with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: ‘You know , I have a special gift,  I can read minds.’ ‘Impossible’, said the embarrassed man, ‘You really know what I think?’ ‘Yes’, the lady replied, ‘Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.’ 

 

A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her bill. She began rummaging through her purse, as so many patients did when they had a check to write. “Do you need a pen?” I asked, offering her the use of mine. “Yes, thank you,” she replied. She took it, put it in her handbag, and proceeded to pay in cash.

 

Pete gets a job as a switchman with the railroad, and undergoes weeks of training. The supervisor then takes him into the switch booth to test his readiness. The following exchange takes place: Supervisor: “Imagine you were sitting here alone and you learned there was a train coming from the North on that track, and another coming from the South on the same track. What would you do?” Pete: “I’d throw this switch right here and put one train on the other track.” Supervisor: And what if that switch didn’t work?” Pete: “I’d go down to the track and throw that big switchlever there, putting one train on the other track.” Supervisor: “And what if that switchlever didn’t work?” Pete: “Then I’d come back here and call the dispatcher to stop both trains.” Supervisor: “And what if the phone didn’t work?” Pete: “Then I’d go to that gas station across the street and use their phone.” Supervisor: “And what if their phone didn’t work?” Pete: “Then I’d go get my Uncle Joe.” Supervisor: “Uncle Joe??? What would he do?” Pete: “Nothing, but he ain’t never seen a train wreck.”

 

Thanks for visiting. Anything you do, or do not like? Something you would like to see? I do not claim to own the photos posted here. If you see your property here, and want it removed, or if you just have something to say, contact me via the comments section. If you liked what you found, here, please tell your friends. And feel free to use any of it for your own purposes. You might also want to check out my Tumblr page, http://rodzilla-world.tumblr.com/ I post similar content, there, but with less ranting.

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