I gently slid her panties to the side…… so I could fit the rest of her socks in the drawer.

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I found this too late to include it with my comments in the previous post, with my drinking and driving discussion. Even though this is a humor site, and I don’t know the reason they included it there, to me, most of it is BS. First of all, if you can walk home, but are worried about being arrested for public drunkenness, a taxi won’t cost very much. Then there are the options of arranging a sober person to be available to drive everyone home, or simply not drinking until you are impaired. Yeah, I know that last one is tough, but we all have a choice of finding ways to stay out of trouble, or to get out of trouble. And a lot of the statements, here, are just whiny copouts.
http://uberhumor.com/if-you-cant-drive-and-apparently-cant-walk-how-else-are-you-supposed-to-get-home

 

A huge lake that was recently discovered below Antarctica’s ice has the potential to hold ancient, unknown life forms.
http://futurism.com/massive-lake-discovered-antarctica-may-harbor-ancient-extreme-life/

 

I agree whole heartedly with this. And good for McDonalds of Europe.
http://www.mnn.com/food/healthy-eating/blogs/americans-we-need-to-get-persistent-and-loud-about-wanting-change

 

Some great pictures from the 2016 National Geographic Photographer of the Year contest.
http://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2016/05/2016-national-geographic-travel-photographer-of-the-year-contest/481038/

 

More info here, as well as a map.
http://www.iflscience.com/environment/subglacial-antarctic-lake-full-microbial-cells-could-just-be-decades-old

 

As expected, the name Boaty McBoatface was not chosen as the official name of this ship. As a consolation prize, the name was given to the ship’s miniature submarine.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/07/world/europe/boaty-mcboatface-sir-david-attenborough.html?_r=0

 

The extent of the fires around Fort McMurray, in Northern Alberta, and the prevailing winds in North America, are taking the smoke into the United States. I read, today, that the entire town has been evacuated. The fire and evacuation are making headlines around the world, but, as usual, some sites can’t do some simple fact checking. One site ran a series of photos with the lead in that Fort McMurray was in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. A simple Google search would have yielded the detail that Fort McMurray is 435 kilometres (270 mi) northeast of Edmonton.
Enough of the oilsands production in the area has been stopped, due to workers who live in the town being evacuated, to cause oil prices to rise slightly on Thursday. Production has been cut by 1/3, and gasoline prices at the pump are going to rise a bit, as a result. Which asks a question to everyone who wants the oilsands production stopped completely. Are you sure?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/capital-weather-gang/wp/2016/05/04/smoke-from-the-alberta-wildfire-is-blowing-south-into-the-u-s/

 

Smoke from the fires was visible from space. The photo was taken on May 3rd by NASA’a Aqua satellite. The areas highlighted in red are active fires. I heard on the news, that the area in flames had grown to 210, 000 acres.. Yikes! It will take a good, long, hard, rain to get the fire under control, now, they reported.
McMurray-fire

 

Imagine facing the potential of losing your home, and having to leave it, while it rains fire around you.
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It must be tough to keep a positive attitude when you know you are already beat. They just have to try so save as many buildings as they can, I guess, and hope for rain. Especially if the current theory that the fire was manmade is true. The fire’s proximity to the city, as well as data that shows there were no lightning strikes in the area, lead experts to believe the cause of the fire was likely human.

 

Venezuela is a shithole and about to become worse. Take a lesson, America, as to what can happen when your leaders are incompetent.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/we-ignore-venezuelas-imminent-implosion-at-our-peril/2016/05/01/f8e33d96-0d50-11e6-a6b6-2e6de3695b0e_story.html

 

Is it any wonder that these people hate the States so much?
http://www.amusingplanet.com/2016/05/the-highway-of-death.html

 

I would have thought that all toilets would have been standardized at the optimum height by now.
http://tywkiwdbi.blogspot.ca/2016/05/some-modern-toilets-are-set-at-comfort.html

 

What’s the point, really? You might as well just drink the stuff. I’ll bet it would be a lot cheaper to just go buy some chicken, though.
http://www.engadget.com/2016/05/04/kfc-flavored-nail-polish/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

 

Donuts making people faint? If they have diabetes, maybe.
http://www.sickchirpse.com/krispy-kremes-new-nutella-doughnut-delicious-people-fainted-taste-tests

 

Would you pay hundreds of dollars for a toy, just because these attractive twins posed suggestively with it? Not me.
http://izismile.com/2016/05/05/these_twins_sell_their_toys_they_sleep_with_for_333_would_you_buy_one_of_them_13_pics.html

 

OK! A couple of more weeks until I am fully mobile again, and I am off to Safeway to see if they have any of these in stock.
I had a doctor’s appointment, on Thursday, to check on the progress of the healing of my leg. Fortunately, it is healing normally, so they removed the old cast, pulled the staples out of my leg (apparently, they use staples, now, rather than stiches), and put a new cast on. While the staples were being removed, I saw that I have a 5 or 6 inch long scar on the inside of my leg, and an 8 or 10 inch long scar on the outside, so they really had to open me up to get at the broken bones. I have another appointment in two weeks to get the cast taken off, and, then, I can resume a normal life.

http://www.engadget.com/2016/05/04/kfc-flavored-nail-polish/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

 

Now how would one discover it was possible to get high this way? Develop an extreme case of the shits, and just keep taking medicine? Or did someone with medical knowledge and a habit figure it out?
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/05/03/476615084/getting-high-from-this-drug-for-diarrhea-can-be-fatal?utm_source=tumblr.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160504

 

I can’t remember who said it, but there is a quote that goes “If you think you are too insignificant to make a difference, try sleeping in a dark room with a mosquito,”
http://earthsky.org/human-world/top-3-tips-to-avoid-mosquito-bites

 

No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!
http://www.collegehumor.com/post/7037280/10-body-mods-thatll-have-you-scratching-your-head

 

I would like to be able to draw, so I plan on following these tutorials.
http://www.craftsy.com/class/10-essential-techniques-for-better-drawing/4872?ext=20160502_Colossal_4872&utm_source=Colossal&utm_medium=External%20Email&utm_campaign=Colossal-Course%20Activation&initialPage=true

 

Imagine it getting too hot to allow human habitation. But where will all these people go? One option might be Russia. I read that the government is offering free land to citizens willing to settle in the far East of the country. Perhaps immigrants might also be allowed to take advantage of that deal.
http://gizmodo.com/extreme-heat-will-make-parts-of-the-middle-east-and-afr-1774311994

 

On the topic of global warming deniers, I saw the following quote, which I believe fits. Global warming is largely responsible for the extent of the Fort Mac wildfire mentioned above. Lack of snowfall over the winter has allowed existing vegetation to dry out much sooner than normal, while new growth has not yet begun, leaving perfect conditions for fires to get out of control.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Aldous Huxley

 

I think the above quote also applies to evolution. And if you don’t believe in evolution, how do you explain this? There is a group of lions in Africa that became stranded on an island with Cape Buffalo, and as a result have become huge.
http://www.adventure-safaris.com/botswana%E2%80%99s-duba-lions-are-strictly-cape-buffalo-eaters/

 

More evidence that comets could have helped life on Earth get its start.
http://www.popsci.com/more-evidence-that-comets-could-have-nurtured-life-on-earth

 

The UAE might build themselves a mountain, to try to help increase rainfall.
http://futurism.com/improve-rainfall-uae-looking-build-mountain/

 

WOW! Claire Danes rocked the Met Gala with a dress that lit up, courtesy of embedded fibre optic cables. I thought it looked great both in the light and the dark. I totally agree with those few who say she “won” the Gala. Yet I can’t understand why almost no one who reported on the event even mentioned it. And I was so disappointed in Miranda Kerr. For a model, she chose a dress that was so awful that she might as well have worn dogshit. Same with Solange. While most of the gowns the other women wore simply oozed class, these two outfits didn’t even really classify as evening gowns. And Selena Gomez wore a plain, shapeless frock that looked like she borrowed it from a Mormon. Then put a short leather vest over it. Why didn’t her best friend Taylor Swift tell her that was a fail? Surely the two would have compared notes as they were putting their outfits together. Which leads to my latest beef with Beyoncé. This likely wasn’t her doing, but most of the Gala stories, and their slideshows, I have seen, lead off with a Badonke photo. Hell, her gown was nice, but was completely overshadowed by a lot of the other ones. If she wasn’t being overhyped everywhere, this likely wouldn’t be happening. Then there was Kanye West, wearing a Bedazzled faded denim jacket and torn jeans. Classy, dude, classy. And I hate to say it, but I thought Kim  actually looked good. What? Why, yes, I am a fashion critic now, too. Didn’t you know?
https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/claire-danes-wore-an-insane-light-up-ball-gown-to-the-met-ga?utm_term=.mspY8OlDX#.ft00V5rBj

 

Claire’s gown in motion. Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel put up a photo of it on her Instagram page, with the comment “Ahhh just magical!” 
beautiful_glowing_dress_of_claire_danes_didnt_go_unnoticed_at_met_gala_04

 

Kanye has the same type of class as these two fools. I’ll bet people are impressed everywhere they go.classy-t-shirts

 

Emma Watson, Lupita Nyong’o, and Margot Robbie wore outfits made from recycled plastic bottles to the Met Gala. They look good, as well as being environmentally responsible.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/kimberleydadds/emma-watsons-met-gala-dress-was-made-out-of-recycled-plastic?utm_term=.qbAOdZ37l#.psabkq8xV

 

I also really like what my crush, Emily Ratajkowski, wore.
MET_Emily_Ratajkowski_1Emily RatajWOWski. Them legs!GettyImages-527344302-e1462238589711

 

Credit where credit is due, though. Beyoncé finally did something that impressed me. Thing is, though, how much profit was there in this event for her to do that? Out of curiosity, I checked, and that stadium holds about 56,000 people. Cut that in half, for a concert, and you have almost 30,000 tickets sold. At the minimum ticket price of $100, which very few fans would have paid, that’s like 3 million bucks at the gate. How jaded am I?
http://time.com/4317360/beyonce-raleigh-concert-lightning-evacuated-return-formation/

 

Re: that controversy over Chris Evans ogling Elizabeth Olsen’s cleavage on the red carpet. I saw some .gifs of them on Ellen’s show, and they seemed very chummy. So perhaps Chris wasn’t being as pervy as it seemed. So, was that look supposed to be a joke?

 

When will Justin Bieber realise that he is just not cool, and quit even trying? He allegedly botched a beer bong so badly that he got embarrassed, and smashed the phone of a person who filmed it. Seems like if he was even a bit as cool as he pretends to be he would have at least offered to pay for the damage. Instead, he is being sued over it.
http://www.tmz.com/2016/05/03/justin-bieber-sued-cellphone-beer-bong/#ixzz47dSeWUJJ

 

Let’s add that to your list of offenses against humanity.tumblr_o56ui7ceTc1u8xgabo2_250

 

There is nothing shocking about it. At least these celebrities haven’t fallen into the trap of completely changing their looks with makeup. They are all still easily recognizable without it. And I believe the photo of Jennifer Lawrence is quite an old one.
http://topratedviral.com/article/11-shocking-photos-of-celebrities-without-makeup/

 

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A lot of the old school hotties were more desirable, since they were born with their beauty. Jackie Bisset is just one example. I think a lot of young boys were deeply affected by her braless t-shirt scene in the movie The Deep.
http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.ca/2016/05/goodstuffs-blogging-magazine-240th-issue.html

 

Posting the photos may not have been the wisest thing to do, but I see no reason she should be fired for doing so. Those photos are part of her private life, and have nothing to do with her job. I would bet that a significant number of corporate executives have skeletons in their own closets that would be highly embarrassing, if not illegal.
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/ed-rescinded-woman-job-offer-sexy-instagram-photo-article-1.2622165

 

This cover shoot is obviously not really going to show anything, and good for Caitlyn, I guess, making a statement. But I foresee a huge controversy developing once this issue hits newsstands.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/caitlyn-jenner-naked-sports-illustrated-05-2016

 

Even a teen should be able to tell a blow up doll from a human or “angel”, but when an entire town makes the same mistake, well…
http://www.rappler.com/world/regions/asia-pacific/indonesia/bahasa/englishedition/131340-sex-toy-inflatable-angel

 

I have been told that President Obama’s White House Correspondent’s Dinner speech, that I included the transcript of in my previous post, lost a lot of its punch when read, rather than heard (and seen). Fair enough. Here is the video.

 

“Aliens”?
http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2016/05/bioluminescent-jellyfish/

 

Fighting fish overpopulation with herpes? Sounds way out there, but I guess they know what they are doing.
https://www.newscientist.com/article/2086635-australia-to-destroy-alien-carp-by-releasing-herpes-into-rivers/

 

A group of female primates came to the defense of a researcher who was threatened by a male.
http://discovermagazine.com/2015/sept/4-one-of-us

 

I’m trying to remember if I ever saw our dog looking at the CRT TV in my family’s home, when I was young. I don’t remember him doing that.
http://sciencenordic.com/do-dogs-see-what%E2%80%99s-happening-tv

 

This needs to happen more often.
http://www.valdostadailytimes.com/news/local_news/doggone-good-day-at-animal-shelter/article_87efec36-49a1-516d-b475-c87f553706aa.html

 

Now you can play with your dog even if you are not home with it.
http://www.engadget.com/2016/04/19/play-with-your-pets-from-anywhere-with-playdates-smart-ball/

 

Anteater tries, and fails, to steal food meant for ducks.

 

Goats playing king of the hill.

 

New odd trend from Japan: Grooming your dog to make it appear square.tmp1_aa

 

The Japanese also have interesting ideas for game shows.
funny-gif-girls-playing-blowing-Asian

 

“The fearsome hunter ATTACKS! Hey, wait for me!”tumblr_nqcstbmdbp1s2yegdo1_500

 

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Not laugh, human, HELP!
https://vine.co/v/ixgeuuU0LpK

 

“Would you bugger off? Can’t you see I’m busy being unbearably cute?”funny-gif-puppy-bite-finger

 

Bird harvests nest material from sleeping dog.
tumblr_o6ew9t3UzN1s02vreo1_250 tumblr_o6ew9t3UzN1s02vreo2_250

 

“FREAKING CABBIGES! Lemme at the bastards!”
Z3F83cC7Tp6KZiPJDk6C_Dog%20Hates%20Lettuce

 

“Watch your back, human. Night comes swiftly.”
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uhb

 

Dude made a fish bridge, connecting two aquariums.

 

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Another escape attempt by this young inmate.
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Imagine a herd of these bastards suddenly materializing around you. This is a plains bison, which can be up to about 6 feet tall, at the shoulder, and 10 or 12 feet long. Wood bison are a bit smaller. There is a herd of them around Zama Lake, in North Western Alberta. I worked in that region for a while, but was not aware there were bison there. So, I was driving down the road, one day, went around a curve, and into the middle of a herd of them. Of course, they took off running, and I was in the middle of a stampede, with one of the beasts’ heads right beside the window of my truck. I got worried that one of them might swerve into my truck, or even charge it, so I just let off of the gas, and they ran off. WHEW! Seeing this picture reminded me of that day.
10-interior-contest-bison-yellowstone.ngsversion.1461948400502.adapt.1900.1

 

Rare whale sighting in a cove in Alaska.

 

hm150627

 

okijnhb

 

So, it has come to this? How does a man who has to render a woman unconscious to have sex live with himself? Whatever happened to intimacy, romance, and human interaction? Might as well just buy one of those fake vagina sex toys. And not be an asshole.
cool-nail-polish-idea-color-drink

 

plk,m

 

qaz

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rdx

 

Really? And what kind of parent would buy it?tfc

 

More kids completely over reacting.
funny-kids-crying-for-ridiculous-reasonsfunny-kids-crying-for-ridiculous-reasons-broom

 

wesdc

 

ygv

 

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Miley, Miley, Miley…
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Cyndi Lauper has released a new album…of country songs? There are a couple of Patsy Cline covers on it, which I think she does a good job of, but they still sound weird when done by someone else. Walking After Midnight is embedded in the article.
http://www.npr.org/2016/05/01/476168494/cyndi-lauper-charts-her-own-path-thanks-in-part-to-patsy-cline?utm_source=tumblr.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20160502

 

Heartaches By the Number.

 

Paul Simon also has new music coming out.
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/05/09/paul-simons-hot-streak?mbid=social_tumblr

 

Classic Paul Simon sound.

 

I like pretty much everything The Black Crowes put out, so I am very interested in this.
http://teamrock.com/news/2016-05-04/black-crowes-ex-rich-robinson-to-release-solo-album-flux

 

Will Little Richard be the next musician we will have to mourn? Will 2016 be known as “the year the music died”?
http://www.mercurynews.com/celebrities/ci_29840113/little-richard-gravely-ill-according-reports

 

Or will he?
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/little-richard-denies-near-death-rumors-im-still-singing-20160503?utm_source=newsletter&utm_content=daily&utm_campaign=050316_16&utm_medium=email

 

So, there very well may be some truth to the rumor that Prince died of a drug overdose. I read another article which said that he had Percocet in his system at the time of his death.
http://www.arcamax.com/entertainment/entertainmenttoday/s-1826467

 

What a flimsy excuse for an award. Surely someone must have done something more remarkable.
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/kanye-west-named-artist-of-the-year-at-2016-webby-awards-20160504

 

Not that personality is a criteria for winning an award, but the guy is a complete jerk.
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/confidential/kanye-allegedly-cans-security-guard-talked-kim-kardashian-article-1.2623843

 

I saw, on the news, this week, that Sinead O’Connor has publicly accused Arsenio Hall of supplying Prince with drugs. Even if he did, I would bet that he wasn’t the only one. And Sinead is still too mentally unstable to be taken seriously. Even though she may have still been in Prince’s circle. He wrote her biggest hit, Nothing Compares To U. Arsenio is suing Sinead for defamation.

 

Weird Al Magic Trick.
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funny-girl-Darth-Vader-museum-Spock-hand

 

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Was that really the best choice of words you could come up with?gotoffALWALENTIS

 

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You may or may not be interested in these new inventions which are advertised as being meant to make your life easier. The post did not say where they might be available, but a Google search should provide the answer, if anyone is wondering. Some of them seem neat to me. Others? Meh. Not sure why anyone would want a fan that blows air under the covers on their bed. Just lie on top. And use a regular, probably much cheaper, fan if you are still too warm.cool-inventions-not-needed-beer-googles

cool-objects-design-uselesscool-useless-inventions-design-shapes

 

Then there are things that nobody needs, and very few want.
http://izismile.com/2016/05/04/you_can_buy_totally_stupid_and_useless_stuff_on_amazon_35_pics.html

 

What, another new Apple device release, already? I have read that Apple stock has lost a significant value, lately, and is showing signs of doing so again, soon. This pleases me.Whenever a new Apple product is released.

 

As if I needed any more reasons to hate Apple, I just read this. To hell with Apple, and to hell with “The Cloud”. If I need more storage space, I will purchase an external hard drive. Actually, I already have two, one 50 GB, and one 100GB. I also still have 65 GB of storage space left on my D: drive. Also, not that I have anything embarrassing saved on my computer, but how many people have had their privacy invaded after their cloud storage was hacked? Now his original, private compositions are permanently on Apple’s servers.  Good luck getting them to remove his private property.
https://mic.com/articles/142787/apple-music-just-screwed-over-this-user-in-a-huge-way-and-it-could-happen-to-you-too?utm_source=policymicTBLR&utm_medium=future&utm_campaign=social#.dCTOySgll

 

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Pretty impressive.
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Almost-perfect-flip

 

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Uhhhhhhhhhhh?
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The first time I saw this I was like “Tell her what?” Even after looking for a long time I couldn’t spot it, so asked for help. Before anyone replied, I saw the picture again, on another site, and finally noticed the stands on the mannequins.24

 

Radass-Daily-Picdump-032

 

 

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I have no context for this. Some Bollywood movie? I found it funny, though.Bollywood%20Punch

 

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Exactly. The average ” ‘Murica” asshole knows nothing about freedom. What possible difference does it make who sells you something? Except for your irrational racism, I mean. I talk tough, hiding behind this blog, but I wonder if I would have the guts to do what that soldier did. Possibly, I have challenged strangers, the odd time, in public, but never over racism.
cool-soldier-defend-Muslim-store

 

funny-gif-interview-fight-friends

 

Ever wonder how large cranes are raised? Now you know.
jumping-gif

 

Questions that shouldn’t need to be asked. Just keep your filthy paws off of other peoples’ food.o-office-food-theft-flowchart-900

 

First off, that is extremely disturbing. Second, who puts ketchup on corn? tumblr_o6oqlyMvDY1s02vreo1_250

 

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How the sun travels through the sky, in the summer, North of the Arctic Circle. I used to work close to the Alberta/N.W,T border, and while the sun would drop below the horizon, at night, it never really got dark. More like a twilight effect for 4 or 5 hours. Not really dark enough to have to turn the headlights on to be able to see. A lot of the staff had to put tin foil or black paper over their bedroom windows, in camp, to get it dark enough in their rooms for them to sleep.
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AHA! This time they do have a size for me, and I am in need of new bedding, anyway, so out comes the credit card. I will soon be sleeping among the stars!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KEMP80Q

 

The question of whether liquid water flows on Mars has been answered. With one amazing bonus discovery.
http://gizmodo.com/one-of-the-biggest-mysteries-about-how-water-flows-on-m-1774225155

 

Pluto has some surprises, as well.
http://futurism.com/pluto-serves-another-surprise-enormous-earth-like-tail/

 

Astronaut Jeff Williams is aboard the International Space Station, on a mission which will make him the human with the most total time spent in space. 
http://www.missaerospace.com/archives/524

 

Strands of material pulled from Saturn’s F ring by the gravitational influence of the shepherd moon Prometheus.
PIA07712

 

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The space shuttle Endeavour as it made its way through the streets of LA in 2012

 

I don’t know why a guy would want his man-cave etc. to smell like a machine shop, but if you do, this product is for you.
http://hiconsumption.com/2015/12/two-stroke-smoke-candle-by-flying-tiger-motorcycles/

 

The 2017 Ford Bronco SVT Raptor looks like a vehicle I wouldn’t mind owning.
http://www.auto-reviewz.com/2017-ford-bronco-svt-raptor-specs-release-date-and-price/

 

Another crime against the spirit of the automobile. If you aren’t going to drive it, sell it to someone who will. Classic cars are not meant to sit, unseen, and undriven, in a dark garage.
http://www.sportscardigest.com/recently-discovered-shelby-gt350-offered-auction/

 

And what about this? Even if it was stolen to sell, you couldn’t advertise it. Whether someone bought it, or the thief kept it, they certainly couldn’t drive it. And if the color was changed to camouflage it, that would be such a waste. Besides, the VIN would flag it when they tried to register it. So did the thief know exactly what he took?
http://www.hotrod.com/news/1605-steve-julianos-psychedelic-1970-mod-top-hemi-cuda-stolen-in-new-york/?sm_id=social_aumohotrodsshub_default_20160505_61292226&adbid=10154203864602792&adbpl=fb&adbpr=29920917791

 

If people would pronounce it properly, this would never happen. Yes, I realise it’s just a joke, but the name is pronounced por-SHUH. I watched a TV program, once, where the supposed expert host was trying to locate a missing Porsche, and, every time he said “porsh”, I cringed. Finally bothered me so much I changed the channel. Besides, the guy’s whole attitude/personality/delivery bothered me.
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Don’t park like a tool in farm country.

 

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The famous Sox and Martin drag racer. This car was extremely successful at the track.edc

 

1956 Chrysler Imperialtumblr_o6m7gjyBv31tras6xo1_1280

 

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This hood ornament looks like a version of the Thrush muffler bird “mascot”, that appeared in all of their advertising. I am thinking it is a one off, since I looked through 5 pages of Google search results without finding any reference to one. A reverse image search yielded zero results.tumblr_o6ikcbYsDD1sodnr0o5_1280

 

Bedford was a subsidiary company of Vauxhall Motors, which was the provider of commercial vehicles in the UK. They also built the Churchill tanks during World War II. As near as I can determine, this is an early 1940’s model.tumblr_o6l4i6cJgr1us7swjo1_1280

 

 

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This thing must be a real beast. That body can’t weigh much, and the rest is mostly HUGE engine.Radass-Daily-Picdump-014

 

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The Pink Motel, in Sun Valley, California. tumblr_nndf8ewT4g1qgjplzo4_500

 

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This guy is hilarious.
http://themetapicture.com/pakalu-papito-is-the-funniest-in-twitter/

 

Comedian Jimmy Carr tells a lot of seriously off color jokes in his act. This is what he believes to be his most offensive one.

 

Anyone who’s ever been to a “teaching hospital” knows to expect a group of students to descend upon them at any time. I was in the recovery room and saw a bunch of students gather around a beautiful blonde who, even in a gown, was obviously well endowed. Recovery is an excellent place for student doctors to become familiar with variations in heartbeats, while the body comes back to normal from the operation and the anesthesia, by using a simple stethoscope. The first student approached her calmly and proceeded to listen intently. The group was silent for a moment. The woman hesitated, then looked sympathetically into the eyes of the doctor-to-be. Reaching up, she gently placed the earpieces into his ears.

 

A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: “You must be single.” The man answers: “Wow, how did you know?” Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

 

Two nuns were shopping at a 7-Eleven store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?” The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.” “I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the checkout. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. “We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at the convent, we call it ‘Catholic shampoo.’ ” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “The curlers are on the house.”

 

Many years ago on a long Trans-Continental flight, an elderly lady asked if she could visit the cockpit. When she got up there, she found four crew. She asked the first what he did, and he explained that he was the Navigator and his responsibilities were to keep the aircraft on track. She turned to next one and asked what he did. He explained that he was the Flight Engineer and his job was to monitor and troubleshoot any system problems to keep the flight operating smoothly. She turned to the next one and asked what he did. He explained that as the Captain he was responsible for everything on the aeroplane. She turned to the First Officer and asked, “Well young man, what is your job?” He replied “Ma’am, I am the captain’s sexual adviser.” Somewhat shocked, she said, “I beg your pardon young man, but what do you mean by that?” “Very simple ma’am. The captain has told me on a number of occasions that when he wants my f**king advice, he’ll ask me for it.”

 

If you’ve ever worked for a boss who reacted before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?” A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?” The CEO said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.” Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?” From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

 


A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now, he was slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. “You know what”? “What dear?” she asks gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”

 

Once upon a time there was a young redneck by the name of Jack. Jack lived and worked on a farm with the farmer, the farmer’s wife and their daughter Mabel. One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabel bending over to milk the cow. He felt himself become aroused for the first time and, shocked, ran to find the farmer to explain this strange phenomena. Upon finding the farmer he proceeded to drop his trousers and whip out his stiff trouser snake much to the horror of the farmer. “Farmer, farmer,” Jack cried, “what is happening to my penis?” “Now settle down and put that thing away.” said the farmer. “Don’t worry about it. It happens to all men.” “But I don’t like it!” cried Jack. “Well then,” said the farmer, “next time it happens just go into the milk shed, get some cow shit and rub it on your dick. It’ll go down quick smart, trust me.” The next day Jack was passing by the house when he looked in and saw the farmers wife having a shower. Feeling his member getting hard he rushed into the cow shed, dropped his pants and picked up two handfuls of shit. Just then Mabel walked into the shed. “What are you doing Jack?” asked Mabel. “Well,” Jack replied, “I’m gonna rub this shit on my dick to make it go down.” “That would be a waste.” Mabel said as she laid down on the ground and lifted her skirt. “Why don’t you stick it up here?” So he did. Both handsfull.

 


Two guys who decided to try duck hunting. They bought new outfits and equipment and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But, after several hours, one fellow said, “I don’t know about this. We’ve been out here all day and haven’t caught a single duck. Do you think we’re doing something wrong?” “I don’t know,” replied the other. “Maybe we’re not throwing the dog high enough.”

 

A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe to give an anesthesia shot. “No way, no needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaimed So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and the man said, “I can’t do the gas thing. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me! The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill. “No,” he says, “I’m fine with pills.” So the dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed them. “What are those?” he asked. “Viagra,” she replied. “I’ll be damned,” said the patient, “I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer.” “It doesn’t,” said the dentist, “But it will give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth.”

 

The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.” Heck, I ain’t blonde, but this would be MY choice too!

 

Mrs. Doonan tried to get a divorce from her husband and the solicitor says, “But Mrs. Doonan, just because you don’t like him, that’s no grounds for separation.” “Well, make a few suggestions,” she said. “Has he ever struck you?” “No. I’d kill him if he did.” “Has he ever been cruel to the children?” “Never.” “Ever left you short of money, then?” “No, every Friday on the nail.” “I see,” the solicitor pondered. “Ah, wait, think hard now, Mrs. Doonan, has he ever been unfaithful to you?” Her face lit up. “By God, I think we got him there… I know for sure he wasn’t the father of me last child!”

 

As Sadie and Irving are leaving the mall, they see their neighbor’s son Paul and his fiancee Sharon just going in. “Didju see dhat? ” Sadie asks. “See vhat?” asks Irving, pretending not to know what Sadie is referring to. “Paul’s fiancee, dhat’s who,” Sadie says, “She’s dressing all wrong. She’s probably 37-23-35 and mit big breasts like hers, she shouldn’t be vearing such a skimpy see-through top. And such a tight leather skirt she’s vearing: I don’t know how she can breathe properly. And it’s so short, it makes her legs look too long. I know she’s got a beautiful face but I don’t think blonde dyed hair suits her. Believe me, Irving, that marriage won’t last more than 1 year.” With a deep sigh, Irving replies, “Please God: I should haf such a year.”

 


An old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and, with even greater effort, forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven! There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies! Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife! “Stay out of those,” she said. “They’re for the funeral!”

 

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!” Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, “Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?” The wife said, ” Let him dig. I had him buried upside down…and I know he won’t ask for directions.” 

 

Thanks for visiting. Anything you do, or do not like? Something you would like to see? I do not claim to own the photos posted here. If you see your property here, and want it removed, or if you just have something to say, contact me via the comments section. If you liked what you found, here, please tell your friends. You might also want to check out my Tumblr page, http://rodzilla-world.tumblr.com/ I post similar content, there, but with less ranting.

 

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