Thursday was a most excellent day for me. With the blog formatting issue seemingly solved, I started a new post, which formatted normally. So, not sure what, exactly, the issue was. A problem at the hosting site, perhaps, that has been worked out? Or had I made some horrible error that I was unable to locate?
As a result of the music I had posted in my previous issue, I decided to charge up my portable mp3 player, and listen to tunes for the entire morning, volume cranked, something I hadn’t done in a while, while I surfed the ‘net, looking for new blog material. The lady scaring herself in the mirror was a great find.
Amazing how small things like these can make such a difference.
But Friday went back into the crapper. My kitchen sink drain clogged up, and I couldn’t free it up even with a plunger, and two jugs of drain cleaner. Then, later in the day, I went to the kitchen, only to find that the sink had backed up, overflowing water onto the counter and floor. The hardwood floor. A few boards showed a little damage, but should be fairly unnoticeable if they don’t get any worse. It would likely be expensive to replace, and I don’t have renter’s insurance. Odd that the bathroom was unaffected. This building must have separate drains for the kitchen and bathroom, and the one downstream of my apartment plugged, so some, or all, of the upstairs kitchen drains came back into my sink. So I bailed the water out and wiped up the floor with towels. About an hour later, when I was done, I tried to call my landlord. But no one answered the phone, or replied to my email, so I called a plumber myself. Not willing to go through that again. And I was paranoid enough that I kept going back and checking, even overnight, in case it happened again, since I was not able to find a plumber who was available that same day.
On Saturday morning, a few hours and 350 bucks later, I had a free running drain, and a jug of professional drain cleaner to (hopefully) prevent it from happening again.
Then I went and bought a flask of vodka, drank it in about 20 minutes, and went to sleep.
Another day, another site unfollowed. I refuse to support any site that posts a picture of money, with the caption “Reblog and you will receive a gift”. Do you really believe in the magical powers of a picture/.gif of money? How about the tooth fairy, and monsters under the bed? There is ZERO scientific basis for these reblog and get money memes, and anyone who believes that they work is just fooling themselves. It is not uncommon to receive a large monetary wedding gift. And anyone who says that they got more money on their paycheck than expected just isn’t paying attention. Time to stop living in a dream world, people. You will eventually be disappointed. Magic is for the movies, not real life. If this really worked, everyone would do it, and we would all be rich.
Those are the same kind of person who isn’t smart enough to realize the gravity of the situation they are in, and ask the person who is threatening to blow up the plane they are on, in the air, for a selfie. Just by the look on this guy’s face, he seems like a doofus. What if the hijacker had taken offense to the request, and had a real bomb on him?
This can’t be a serious article. Can so many people really be that thick? I have trouble believing, for instance, that Alaskans need to Google how to fish. Or that people who live in that state don’t know how to get out of Florida. Get on a major highway and drive North, fool. I checked, and the site is a real estate site, not a humor one, but, since this isn’t related to real estate, maybe they were trying to make a joke of some kind. Some kind of joke I do not get.
Say WHAT? Ok, look, I agree that culture appropriation for the purpose of a Hallowe’en costume is wrong, but, if you think you, or anyone, actually, needs counseling, simply due to the mere sight of one, you might as well check yourself into an asylum, because you clearly aren’t mentally equipped to deal with the modern world. There are people wandering around, every day, doing much more offensive things. OH! Perhaps that is why so many people walk from place to place looking down at their phones. They require an alternate reality to distract them from what is going on around them.
This is the same kind of attitude that caused the airing of the movie Forrest Gump, on TV, on Saturday night, to have a viewer discretion warning. As if Forrest Gump is going to offend any one, or embarrass them. Okay, there were some scenes where (GASP!) a woman’s bare back is shown, and (giggle) part of the side of a breast. And there are some gory/violent scenes during the part about the Vietnam war. But SHEESH! Any kid old enough to understand the plot of the movie should be able to handle those. Then I checked online, and the MPAA rated it as PG-13 for language, drugs, some violence, and some implied sex. Besides, the movie aired at 1:00 A.M. How many young kids are allowed to watch TV at that hour?
Thanks to my plumbing issues, I wasn’t on the internet much, that morning, but none of the sites I did try to visit failed to load. Whenever I hear of an attack like this, I have to wonder what the hackers have to gain. Nothing, likely, except the satisfaction of doing it. And fucking so many people over.
Then I read an interview with the leader of the hacker group that was supposedly responsible. His answer as to why it was done was typical lame double talk: It’s for the good.. Russia is pretty much saying they are better than the U.S by hacking into everything attempting to start a war. We will show them a war. Yeah? Then why did your little tantrum affect sites other than Russian ones?
While this was done by a completely different postal service, my recent struggle with the Canadian version leads me to believe they employ some of the same type of people. As to why anyone but a moron would just dump, not destroy, peoples’ mail in the woods, especially in a place where they could be seen, well, it seems we are not talking about geniuses here.
I have had very few jobs that I really hated, but, then, I grew up in a very frugal family, and never had a monthly allowance. So, I would do pretty much anything to earn some money. And us children were expected to do chores around the farm and house as soon as we could handle them physically, so I was used to hard work. When I got older, and we moved into town, I started out doing yard maintenance for widows in our small town, and word soon got around that I was a good, reliable, hard worker. After a few years I moved up to farm laborer, as well as part time roofer. As I moved into my twenties, I left home and moved to the big city. When the farm help work got scarce, I partnered up with a high school chum, to start a roofing company. We were soon doing so well that we could not accept all of the work that came our way, and even hired two employees, splitting into two crews. Unfortunately, my partner developed a drug problem, and started skimming money from the company bank account. So I dissolved the business, and went to work in the oilpatch, eventually becoming lead operator at a natural gas processing plant. There were tough days, as with any job, but it always irked me how the younger employees seemed to think that actually doing their job was an imposition. I usually found them on the internet at work, rather than doing maintenance or cleaning. They should have been given a wake up call like these Swedish fashion bloggers who were taken to work in the third world sweatshops that made their fancy clothes.
On the topic of fashion, if you are interested in owning some vintage clothing, the Fashion Institute of Technology is auctioning off some of their collection, with pieces going back as far as the 18th century. I don’t know much about fashion, but I think a lot of these outfits are very stylish. Someone would surely stand out from the crowd wearing these dresses.
Yes, people really used to dress like this in the 1970’s. Hard to believe, now. I actually used to wear plaid pants, an orange knit pullover vest, and I believe it was a green dress shirt to church on Sundays, when I was a teen. And I didn’t look out of place.
Is the compulsion to rape, especially to rape underage girls, really so strong in some people that they are physically unable to stop themselves? Why else would this man resort to such an extreme measure as to slit his own throat in the courtroom after being found guilty? Fuck, man, was jerking off not doing it for you? I expect someone is going to lose their job, as well, for allowing him to get into the courthouse with a razor blade.
I couldn’t believe what I was reading, here. That defense is total bullshit, and for the Supreme Court to buy it is incredible. I wouldn’t blame that kid if he grew up to kill the man. Or if an angry mob formed, and lynched him. THERE IS NO DEFENSE FOR RAPE. Especially the rape of children. The blogger at the site I found this story on was very clear about the horrible things he felt this man deserved to have happen to him.
Can someone please tell me why it takes $300,000 to restore a pair of shoes and build what I assume is just an air conditioned box with a dehumidifier?
Today I found out that the Nazis had a secret base in the Arctic, about 1000 km from the North Pole.
Iraqis seem to have a bad habit of setting oil wells on fire during their wars. We, in North America, should remember that, when we have bad days, at least (hopefully) no one is trying to kill us.
The quiz states that 92% of people can’t guess these 35 horror movies from just one scene. I didn’t get them all, but, since I am not a big fan of horror movies, and hadn’t even seen half of the ones in the quiz, I still got 28 of 35 correct simply through process of elimination or just educated guesses.
I truly believe that women are/can/should be, equal to men, so I don’t understand things like women earning lower wages for the exact same job. Or being refused entry to public places, such as the Japanese sites listed in this article.
As the saying goes, different strokes for different folks. Perhaps literally. This show seems dumb, to me.
This looks like fun. I used to have a Nintendo console. I was turned onto Super Mario by my neighbors in the apartment I moved into in the early ’90’s, and we would often smoke pot and have video game battles with each other. I don’t recall, for sure, if I ever got to the end of the game, but it seems to me that I eventually did. I also used to be really into the Doom role playing computer games, but, for some reason, I stopped playing them. Gonna have to drag the CD’s out of storage, some day, and see if I still like playing.
As much as I hate fakes, I wouldn’t mind being tricked into buying them so much if they were as safe to use as the real thing. And it really annoys me that Amazon doesn’t verify that the items they sell are the real thing. I have purchased such things as laptop batteries from Amazon, in the past. It is easier to find things there than on the manufacturer’s sites, too. I recently tried to find a replacement key for my computer keyboard, but left the Dell site due to not being able to find one after a ten minute search, using multiple different terms. In about two minutes I found what I was looking for on Amazon.
I am not a big sports fan, although I used to spend the odd afternoon with a good buddy watching the Edmonton baseball team play live, at their park. So I have zero interest in this, but a hockey fanatic might. Their pitch is lame, though. “Never miss another goal while you are in the kitchen”. The few times I have been present while a hockey game was being televised, there was no mistaking when a goal was scored. And I have never met a fan who watches with the sound even turned down to a regular volume. Also, if you are willing to pay 160 bucks for this device, you truly are a hockey NUT.
And sports fans are some of the most superstitious people on Earth. This has got to be the lamest excuse for a team not winning that I ever heard.
Even though the White House press briefing was already over, could any other man (would any other man?) other than Bill Murray get away with taking the same podium to talk about baseball?
If you want to be cool, the big new thing, apparently, is constellation ear piercings. Even in my most devoted hippie days, I never considered getting a piercing anywhere on my body. As my Dad would have said, there were already enough holes in my head. But, these look okay, I guess.
So, I got a couple of comments, regarding my bitching, in the previous post, about hardly anyone listening to my playlists. I can’t track the tunes I link to individually, but the playlists were saved on my YouTube channel, which shows the number of times each playlist was listened to. Since both comments said basically the same thing, that those readers were not aware of this blog when I was posting those tunes, they never listened to them, but that they liked the tunes I posted last week, and would listen to new ones. So here is the newest playlist I just put together. Whether or not I take the time to create more will depend on how many listens this one gets. It contains a mix of tunes that my mp3 player chose, in shuffle mode, that I really liked. I have almost 4000 songs, from various genres, in my music folder, so I will have a lot of selection hints, and there will be few repeats. Plus I will probably tune those who bother to listen in to a lot of previously unheard music.
This particular playlist is a bit more than half an hour long, the time it might take to read the rest of the page, and check out a few of the links that interest you.
I was also informed that the video I linked to, a few posts ago, of Kylie Minogue covering Night Fever has been taken down by the owner. So I searched for other versions of it, and found a site with the audio. I went back, and put that link into the post, for any interested parties. It is the post with the title about the postman. Also, Hmmm, more evidence that there are people interested in the music I post. Where were you all when I was creating playlists?
I hear, quite often, that today’s musicians are just as good as the ones from rock and roll’s classic years, but no one is ever going to be able to convince me of that. First, some artist or group is going to have to compose and perform something as good as, and that can stand the test of time as well as, this oldie. Performed as if it was a record played on the radio, Alice Cooper and his original band, with the anthem “Eighteen”. Wow. I got a little choked up, thinking up, and writing that.
Cher performs an updated version of I Got You, Babe, with talk show host James Corden.
Deep Purple has a new album ready for release. Hopefully it is as good as their older stuff. Come on, guys, don’t let me down.
YAY! Shania Twain is finally releasing a new album.
It’s nice when celebrities help those in need, but I’m not sure the best thing to give refugees is energy drinks. Ever hear of nutritious food, there, Lindsay? Since this is the same drink that is available in her new nightclub, this seems more like free advertising than generosity to the needy,
…yes, but, if the sugary ingredients were not included, most people would not eat these products. As the saying goes, buyer beware.
When I saw this, I knew I remembered Morena Baccarin from some show that I really liked. For the life of me, though, I couldn’t recall it. Going through the links, I saw it was the sci-fi series Firefly, where she played a courtesan (high class hooker) . I agree with the other fans who said it was a shame the series was cancelled.
As usual, much more in this issue.
In 2012 local artists created giant fish sculptures from discarded plastic bottles for the UN Conference on Sustainable Development. At night the sculptures were lit from inside.
Don’t let Trump hear about this.
Now, what would make a hotel room legitimately worth $500 a night? On my trips to Saskatoon, I have, sometimes, been given rooms that could have provided seating for several people, if the bed was utilized as seating. And the nightly charge was typically around $120 per night. But, then I am no hotshot fancy pants, even though these rooms were quite large, and somewhat lavish, with mini fridges, desks, large TV’s, etc. .
I think this is an excellent idea. Keep your slimy paws off of my stuff.
We often hear the term “adrenaline junkie”. Follow the link, below, and click on the words zoom in, to open the photo in a new tab. Click on the photo to open it up to its full size, then look for the person about 1/4 of the way down, just to the right of center. Adrenaline junkie or suicidal maniac?
One of the very few positive things about climate change is that it is giving researchers the ability to see, first hand, an ecosystem emerging from an ice age.
Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg are hosting a cooking show together. The question everyone is asking? When does the brownie episode air? Snoop just turned 45, just FYI.
Now, what on Earth would give anyone the idea to pass different brands of alcohol through a Brita filter, and see how it tastes? Result? DUH! All of the taste (good stuff) was filtered out. And over 300,000 views of the video. What a complete waste of time.
Goldfish can live long lives with the proper care.
You fucking bitch! If it were up to me…well, I can’t think of a fitting punishment that is legal. And, while I don’t hate them, I don’t really even like cats.
The story of Daniel Turducken Stinkerbutt, the emotional support duck. One of the most common questions I am asked is “Where do you find this shit?” Not much else to do, while everyone else is at work, but wander around in the dark corners of the internet.
Emotional Support Duck Boards Plane with Owner, Delights Everyone
While this might, possibly, help endangered wildlife, I am against the idea. I believe there are better ways to help these creatures without renting them to private citizens. Private wildlife ownership has a history of negative results.
Submissions for the 2016 National Geographic Wildlife Photo of the Year contest are, as usual, awesome.
I plan on watching this, tomorrow. It looks interesting.
Episode umpteen of Goats Are Weird.
Forget eating like a pig. These cows make pigs seem anorexic.
Tests are about to begin of a new way of reducing methane emissions from cattle.
Never filmed before, a fish commandeers the body of a jellyfish for protection. It is common for fish to swim through jellyfish tentacles to avoid predators.
“Okay, boy, now wake up Daddy.”
I posted the original of this a while back. It was a much wider view. I see someone found a way to crop it.
I suppose the descriptive word, here, would be “majestic”. Hopefully that horse was running to, not from something.
“OOH! I like it here!”
An entire gallery of stunning redheads. Courtesy of the Suburban Men website that I mentioned in a previous post.
OH! This one is so bad the pain must be shared. And if you don’t get it, you were born too late. Look up the band Taco.
I laughed out loud at this one.
Not sure if I want to know the story behind this. I’ll bet that left a mark.
I think these Hallowe’en themed “Mummy” nails are fairly neat. Especially the glow in the dark eyes.
I couldn’t believe someone was suggesting this, when I saw it posted, but it had a long list of likes. I guess, if you are a cigarette smoker, the kids in your house have already inhaled a lot of secondhand smoke. But I still think this is wrong. But one other person left a negative comment similar to mine on the site I found it at.
I wonder how many people grow up resenting how their parents dressed them, as babies.
…or treated them as children. Especially the dreaded “dad joke”.
Much better than spiders. Suddenly, I have a craving for Italian food.
I think that look means big sister has trouble in her future.
Who remembers Thylvesther the putty tat and his nemesis Tweety?
Do that again.
Man trolls co-workers in a bear suit.
It must be difficult, sometimes, for police too keep a straight face while dealing with complaints.
I may have posted this before. Perhaps it was just something similar, but with the same sentiment. Which I agree with. We had what they called “Industrial Arts” in my school. Once a week, each high school grade was bussed to a closed school building in the next town, where classes in wood and metal working, plus a few other crafts, were taught. Things which might actually be more useful in real life than trying to figure out how to multiply letters. I don’t recall what crafts the girls were taught, but there was one where I remember heating sheets of plastic, and vacuum forming them in molds, to make such items as candy dishes.
I never understood the term “walk of shame” either. What’s with the blanket, though? What happened to your clothes, or why is what you were wearing last night suddenly shameful?
Interesting article about why Manhattan skyscrapers came to be where they are currently located.
1000 ft hole found at Lower Ruth Glacier in Alaska covered only by a sheet of clear ice, photographed by Aaron Huey. In his words, “Staring down what could be a 1,000ft deep worm hole through the blue ice of the Lower Ruth Glacier. I was never afraid of the ones full of water, they’d just be cold, but some had no water and it was easy to imagine a long slide to an icy death.”
How one mineral changes into another.
Just when you think you’ve seen all of the weird shit nature has done…
Scientists believe they have solved the mystery behind The Bermuda Triangle.
If you are interested in images from space, there are a ton of them on this site. This gallery is just the ones from September. Select the back arrow to view all of the other folders.
Almost certain evidence that the Schiaparelli Mars lander crashed has been discovered.
Update: On Saturday, the crash was confirmed, with photos from the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. It appears to have exploded on impact.
Mars’ atmosphere has been found to glow at night, in ultraviolet light.
How do people dream up this stuff? Maybe someone just decided to see if he could trick anyone into believing it. But how can anyone really fall for such an obvious lie? They can’t all be Cletus the slack jawed yokel. 15 days of darkness in a row would pretty much be possible only at the beginning of an apocalypse, like if the sun “went out”, or the Earth stopped spinning. And, in that case, darkness would be the last thing to worry about.
A lot of people don’t understand why so much money is spent building robots and sending them to Mars. After all, we know there is no life there, right? Not so fast, buddy. Intelligent life forms don’t just suddenly appear out of nowhere. Not even way back when, here, on Earth. Anyone who is interested in this kind of information should bookmark the Earth Story site. I find a lot of their articles fascinating.
An investigation is currently underway to try to find out why Saturn’s North polar area has changed color.
Even though it is currently experiencing issues, Juno was able to complete some science before entering safe mode.
Vertical structures rise as high as 2.5 kilometers above the plane of Saturn’s B ring — a significant difference from the rest of the ring, which is generally only about 10 meters thick.
It doesn’t matter who wins the upcoming U.S. election. Neither of the candidates even has a clue of how to be as cool as the current administration. As hip as I think Obama is, he can’t top Joe Biden taking Jay Leno for a ride in his own Corvette convertible. It was given to Joe by his father as a wedding present when it was brand new. The icing on the cake? He did a burnout with it! One thing I don’t understand, though, is why so many memes portray Joe as a moron. He is anything but.
At first glance, it seemed kind of cool, but then, after a good look, a lot of “NOPE” settled in. The front and rear just don’t go with the passenger section.
This picture brought back a lot of memories. The father of some childhood friends of mine owned a 4 door Polara hardtop similar to this, but with a black roof. With 4 boys driving it, and not kindly, that car took a lot of abuse, but it held up splendidly. It did require a few engine and transmission replacements, due to the torture tests it was subjected to, but parts were plentiful, and fairly cheap, back then, and the father owned and ran a gas station and garage. So, with the boys doing all the work, downtime was low. We would often help them with the work, since that was our main cruising vehicle, much of the time. A side effect was that everyone also learned to do mechanical repairs. And, even as banged up as the body became, towards its final demise, I thought it was still a sharp looking car.
This seems staged. Otherwise, how did the car stay running while submerged? I suppose some air could have been trapped under the hood, but, how did those people in its path not see it enter the water? Apparently, this happened in Australia.
This dude is the definition of chill. “Well, that was odd”.
How, exactly, would someone manage to do this?
A 1971 Lamborghini Miura P400 SV which was delivered new to singer Rod Stewart is to be auctioned at The Classic & Sports Car Show’s inaugural sale on October 29. The car has an estimated worth of between £800-900,000 (about 1.8 million US dollars). NICE! I think Lamborghini makes better looking cars, on average, than Ferrari. The last Ferrari I really liked was the 308, like the one Magnum P.I drove.
Probably the sexiest rear end in the history of automobiles.
A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. So she put an ad in the local newspaper that read: WANTED: HUSBAND! MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70’s), MUST NOT BEAT ME. MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. ‘You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?’ the widow said. ‘Just look at you – you have no legs!’ The old gentleman smiled, ‘ Therefore, I cannot run around on you!’ ‘You don’t have any arms either!’ she snorted. Again, the old man smiled, ‘Therefore, I can never beat you!’ She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, ‘Are you still good in bed??’ The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, ‘I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?’ The wedding is scheduled for Saturday.
Ever notice how there’s an inverse relationship between a woman’s bra size and intelligence?
The larger the bra she wears, the dumber the guy she’s talking to gets.
My friend Felix is still out there job hunting. He says he always has a problem when filling out the job application and gets to the part about ‘Sex: F or M.’ He says he never knows which to choose — he really likes to Fuck, but he spends most of his time alone Masturbating.
What do you do when you face a gorilla with three balls?
Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.
I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious
On a cruise to Alaska, I saw my very first glacier in the magnificent Inside Passage. Excitedly, I asked the ship’s officer what it was called. “It’s some dumb glacier,” he replied. Disappointed by his attitude, I bought a map to figure it out myself. I spotted our location and found the name of the ice mass. It was called, just as he’d said, “Sumdum Glacier.”
A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits an English farmer. “So, English farmer, how do you shag your sheep?” “Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.” “That’s very interesting,” replies the researcher and he leaves the English farmer. Then he meets an Australian farmer. “So, Australian farmer, how do you shag your sheep?” “Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.” “That’s very interesting,” replies the researcher, ” That’s how they do it in England too.” And he leaves the Australian farmer. Then he meets a farmer from New Zealand. “So, Kiwi farmer, how do you shag your sheep?” “Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and I take the front legs of the sheep and put them over my shoulders.” “Over your shoulders?” replies the researcher, “Don’t you put them over a wall like everyone else?” “What?” says the farmer,” and miss out on all the kissing?”
If Doctor Ruth were a man
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it’s a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
A woman walks into an agents office and says “I want to be on stage or TV” To which the agent replies, “well, what do you do?” The woman says, “well I cant sing or dance, I can only do this…” She picks up her skirt and starts to whistle ‘twinkle twinkle little star’ out of her vagina. “THAT’S FANTASTIC!” the agent says, “Hang on a minute,” he picks up the phone and calls one of his agent friends, “Listen to this” he says to his friend excitedly and puts the telephone next to the woman’s minge, she starts to whistle the tune again in perfect rhythm. “what do you think of that?” he says to his mate. “Just sounds like some cunt whistling to me!”
Taylor Swift has 500 songs about guys leaving her…and ZERO songs about blowjobs. You see where I’m going with this?
Before setting off on a business trip to London, I called the hotel where I’d be staying to see if they had a gym. The hotel operator’s sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it. We have over 300 guests at this facility,” she said. “Does this “Jim’ have a last name?”
The cab driver requested the equivalent of eight dollars U.S. for the fare, which seemed reasonable, so my friend handed him the money. But the host grabbed the bills and initiated a verbal assault upon the cabby, calling him a worthless parasite and a disgrace to their country for trying to overcharge visitors. The host threw half the amount at the driver and told him never to return. As the taxi sped off, the host gave the remaining bills to my colleague and asked him how his trip had been. “Fine,” the businessman replied, “until you chased the cab away with my luggage in the trunk.”
A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. “I’d like a box of birdseed,” said the lady. “For which kind of bird?” he asked helpfully. “Oh, I dunno,” she replied. “Whichever will grow the fastest….”
At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He found the man’s e-mail addy and sent him a message. When Dad received a reply, he was insulted and fired back another e-mail: “I have put on some weight, but I didn’t realize it was that noticeable.” His friend’s hastily typed message, with an apparent typo,
had read: “Hi, Ron. I didn’t know you worked here, but I did see a gut that looked like you in the cafeteria.
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